


The Fear of Falling Apart

by UglierSteak



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Some angst, This is gonna be gay, redo fic, somewhat a slow burn, supergirl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-19 09:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 34,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10636737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UglierSteak/pseuds/UglierSteak
Summary: Lena gets into a car accident leaving her paralyzed from the waist down. Jess ends up sending Kara over to the hospital to get Lena's spirit back up, and somewhere along the rough journey of the recovery, the two friends fall in love.





	1. So Close I Was to Heaven's Gates

**Author's Note:**

> This is a remake of my first fanfic 'The Fear of Falling Apart' which I deleted a while back. I wanted to change the POV as well as some of the details, so here we are.
> 
> Feel free to leave comments, anything helps, especially feedback on what you liked or think needs improving. I really appreciate it!  
> Thank you for the Kudos!
> 
>  
> 
> [Check me out on Tumblr @ugliersteak :)](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)  
> [If you want to check out another fic I'm working on, find it here.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9688277/chapters/21870740)

The last thing Lena remembers is that she was on her way home from a long day of work at L-Corp. It was near midnight and she was driving herself that night, since she sent her driver home hours in advance. 

Then it happened. She can remember a car flying through it’s red light and hitting her car with extreme force. Lena felt her body being pushed sideways by heavy, fast movement. It wasn't until she hit her head when everything went black.

When Lena woke up, she couldn’t tell where she was. She could feel a bed underneath her. However, her senses were foggy. Lena could tell she was in a white and bright room, but her vision was blurry. When her hearing got better by the slightest, she could hear faint beeping and people talking. Because of this, she tried to sit up. But, she was quickly stopped by the various metal equipment sticking out of her body that is holding her together. 

As the chatter grew louder, her sight became clearer. Lena could fully tell now, she was in the hospital. The talking kept gaining volume, as the doctors shuffled into the room, realizing that Lena had woken up. 

They explained all the equipment, all her injuries, what happened and where she was. But they paused after that, not wanting to deliver the news of her worst injury, the one that caused paralysis.

Noticing the pause and unsettling vibe, Lena spoke up in a raspy voice. “What is it?” 

The lead doctor cleared his throat before answering. “You probably can’t tell from all the drugs you’re on at the moment,” He began, gesturing wildly at the IV, “but you fractured your spine. A bone fragment damaged your spinal cord and left you paralyzed from the waist down. We are very sorry, Miss Luthor.”

'Paralyzed.' It took a second to register in Lena’s mind. 'I’m Paralyzed.' But once it did, panic set in. Her world felt like it was no longer a place she could be in. Her lungs began to feel as if they were caving in. Her breathing became fast and uneasy. Lena’s heart was beating out of her chest. Her vision became tainted by the tears in her eyes. But then, there was a fuzzy feeling, a feeling that made her sleepy. The doctors eased her into the blackout using medicine, not wanting her body to wear itself out.

\-------------------------------------------

When Lena was finally able to receive visitors, outside of her family, about two weeks later, Jess stopped by with some flowers and chocolates. But her real purpose for visiting was to update Lena on L-Corp and ask her what she would like her to do while Lena was not able to work.

“Hi, Miss Luthor.” Jess whispered so she wouldn’t startle her boss.

Lena slowly turned her head to see her assistant standing in the doorway. “I don’t want to see anyone right now, sorry.” She snapped at first. But realized her tone and calmed the slightest bit down. To be fair though, she has not had the best couple of weeks.

Jess sighed, setting her gifts on the bedside table. “Not even about-”

“No.” Lena cut in and turned her head back towards her TV.

The last thing she wanted to be doing at the moment was dealing with work. She knows that’s why Jess showed up as soon as she could. Yes, L-Corp needed someone to run it, but she had a board of directors who could do it just fine while she was out. 

“Sorry, I’ll be going.” Jess replied as she left the room. There was no way she would let her boss keep this up for too long.

Lena felt bad for being rude, she did. But she couldn’t help it. The pain she was in was so excruciating that it left her no other choice. She didn’t want to be that unfair to Jess, who was her favorite employee. But it would use far too much strength to play it nice for even a second. Which caused her, to not even try to mask her emotions. So, she let tears stroll down her face at the person she was becoming as she drifted into sleep.

\-----------------------------------------

A few more weeks pass by before she gets another visitor. Lena knew visiting hours were over, since it was so late, but this person was the only person on her visitor list, Kara Danvers. She hadn’t told the bright reporter of her incident, she told no one. But she knows Kara and how she would figure it out eventually. So, she wanted Kara to have access to her room whenever possible.

However, tonight was one of her bad nights. Lena was trying to wean off of as much medication as possible. She didn’t like the feeling of not being in control of her body. So, she requested for only the necessities. Which means, she is left with more pain, even with some pain killers still being taken. 

When there was a slight knock at the door, Lena figured it was a nurse checking up on her. So in response she muttered, “Just leave me be.” While trying to pay attention to some cheesy sitcom on her small television in the corner of the room. 

But this person wasn’t a nurse, it was her only friend, who replied sarcastically, “Well I didn’t wait weeks to see you, just to be rudely sent away!” 

Lena turned her head in shock to look at Kara. “How?” She asked with wide eyes. 

Of course Kara was smiling at Lena’s shock, she found it adorable. But before she started to talk she pulled over a chair to sit next to her friend. “Jess told me, we were both worried.” Kara looked down to her fidgeting hands. “I think I was a bit more worried. Lena, you didn’t even text me.” When the blonde looked up there was something in her eyes, betrayal and worry. 

A sigh left Lena’s lips. She feels terrible for not letting Kara know anything. She hates how left in the dark her friend was. They went from having lunch every other day to not even a text in weeks. It was all Lena’s fault too, she could have just sent a single text. But she was too afraid.

All the guilt is really starting to wash over Lena. She doesn’t mean to be rude again, but she replies. “I’m sorry for that. I’m also sorry because I really don’t want to speak to anyone.”

Being the friend that Kara was, she responded, “Then we don’t have to talk. Before that though, I brought you these plumerias, I searched for quite some time to get these for you. Also I want you to know that when you’re ready to talk, I’m here for you.” With that, Kara held Lena’s hand in her own, showing her genuine support. 

Lena smiled for the first time since the accident, all because of her only friend. “Thank you, Kara” She whispered, before returning her attention to her show.

It was amazing how much Kara lifts Lena’s mood. For once, it was like nothing bad had happened to her and even though they weren't talking, just being there was enough for her. Lena was able to find herself softly laughing at the show that was lighting up her screen. That was until she felt the feeling of someone watching her.

When she turned her head, she saw Kara’s beautiful sky blue eyes looking at her filled with something she couldn’t place a finger on. But, it sent butterflied to her stomach. Lena could not quite grasp why Kara was so kind and genuine towards her. Though, she couldn’t complain because her friend was perfect, and not to mention the most amazing person to exist. 

They maintained eye contact for a few long moments before Lena tried her best to scoot over on her bed. When she managed to move a few inches to the side, she pat the empty part to invite Kara onto it. The blonde smiled, and carefully laid down beside her friend. 

Eventually, Kara became comfortable enough to move closer to Lena, and they tried their best to cuddle. Since Lena couldn’t exactly change positions. They gladly enjoyed each other's warmth so much so, that they were able to fall asleep to the hum of the TV and the comfort of one another's arms.


	2. Some of Us Never Get a Shoulder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait! I have been super busy with both class and health, and I tried to write but had such bad writers block.
> 
> I hope this chapter isn't too tragic writing wise.
> 
> Thank you all for your wonderful comments! They mean the world and motivate me to keep writing.
> 
> Thanks for the Kudos and subscriptions, I really appreciate it!
> 
> As always, [Come talk to me on Tumblr!](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)

Another week goes by before Lena’s injuries are healed enough for her to be in a wheelchair. She still has a variety of splints, bandages and equipment around parts of her body. But at least she can move easier now.

The day Lena was able to tell Kara about her injuries was a tough one. It was only a few days prior and both women ended up in tears. Lena, because she had never admitted it out loud. Kara, because she could not imagine what her friend was going through. Also, to admit Kara’s crying did cause more tears to leave Lena’s eyes, hating the image of her friend upset.

Today though, seemed to be in good spirits. Lena woke up to Kara snorting at a cute video of a puppy running around on her phone. The sight of the blonde’s genuine happiness warmed Lena’s heart. The way Kara’s eyes smiled, causing them to shine brighter than normal, did something to Lena’s head. She couldn’t describe it if you asked. All she knows, is that it makes her want to--

“Good morning, sunshine!” Kara cheered, noticing Lena’s soft smile and reddening cheeks.

The brunette chuckled at her friend’s excitement. “Someone seems to be in a good mood.” She started with a raspy voice caused by sleep. “Good morning, be-- um, Kara.” She almost let her heart speak. What she wanted to say was, ‘beautiful,’ but she knows friends do not say that. Do they? Luckily she was trained to catch her emotions, even if it starts to take control. Afterall, she did grow up with the Luthors.

Kara smiled a wider, more beautiful smile before hopping onto her feet. “I’ll be right back!” she called as she ran out of the room. 

When the blonde returns, she has a wheelchair and a nurse with her. Of course Kara is surprising her, that’s just Kara’s thing. The nurse next to her though, doesn't seem too enthusiastic.

“What’s all this?” Lena asked while playfully gesturing to her friend, the nurse, and the chair. Clearly, Kara wanted to take her somewhere. But why does it have to be so early in the morning? Lena has never been a fan of mornings.

She watched as Kara lit up like a kid in a candy store at the chance to explain. Lena listened to her friend as she told her about wanting to go out to the cafeteria for breakfast, since its Lena’s first day to be able to get out of that room. Kara is a good friend, she knows Lena desperately needs a change of scenery.

Realizing going out means people seeing her, and quite possibly realizing who she is, causes Lena’s heart rate pick up. The monitors are clearly working well, because they start beeping out of control. As her breathing shallows, her lungs begin to burn.

“Lena? It’s okay we don’t need to go out. If you’re not ready, that’s totally fine.” Kara whispers while climbing into bed next to Lena to wrap her in a hug. “Shhh, everything will be okay, you’re alright.” The blonde says as she places a kiss on Lena’s temple.

It takes a few, long minutes for Lena to slowly start to calm down. The whole time she is grasping onto Kara like a lifeline, and every time Kara would move, Lena’s hold would grow tighter. The thought of people knowing how fragile she really is, is not something can never be okay with. She can’t be weak to anyone, well anyone that isn’t Kara. The one person who holds her until Lena allows for her to be let go of. The one person who is never quick to judge her. The one person who only wants her to be happy.

The thought of Kara helps her regain some control. Lena tries her best to turn on her side to be closer to the person next to her, but fails, since she has so many obstacles with her body. The failure does cause a few tears to build up and slowly fall down her rosy cheeks.

“Kara…” She breathes, with her voice breaking the slightest, allowing Kara to wipe away her tears. The blonde only hums to show she is listening, allowing Lena all the time she needs.

It takes another minute or two of trying to control her breathing and tears to calm down enough to talk. Lena tries to think of the many times Kara would stop by her office to bring her food on days she forgot to eat. She tries to ignore how close they were in their cuddles. She definitely tried not to think about how many forehead kisses Kara was leaving on her. Because every time she did think about it, her heart rate would pick up and she would think about things, things that friends don’t do to each other.

“I- it’s okay. We can try to go.” Despite all the anxiety Lena feels about people seeing her, Kara looked so excited to be able to take her out and eat a meal. Even if it was just in the cafeteria. She loved that about Kara, how she always got excited over the smallest things. 

Kara sighed and nuzzled her face in the crook of Lena’s neck. “Lena we don’t have to if it will make you anxious.” When the blonde looked up at Lena she looked worried, her eyes were glassy and her mouth was slightly pressed.

Looking at Kara like that gave Lena goosebumps. Nobody ever worries about her, no one ever cares enough. But then there’s Kara, sitting next to her and wanting to make sure Lena never has anything negative in her life. So she smiles, to show her friend that it’s okay. “You being there will make it enjoyable for me.” 

Laughing, Kara responds, “Yeah? And if someone dares to take a picture of you, I’ll crush their phones.”

Lena rolls her eyes and laughs, “Yeah right.”

The whole time the nurse was situating Lena in her chair, she was scrunching her face in discomfort. Kara picked up on it and kept asking if Lena was okay. Lena just kept telling her friend that she was fine and it was nothing to worry about. But, Kara didn’t believe her, so she told the nurse to slow down and be careful. 

Once Lena was situated in her seat she had the nurse leave so her and Kara could be alone. She was in a lot of pain since she wasn't used to being sat up like that. Kara stayed silent as Lena breathed, trying to hold back tears. It was hard to try to stay strong all the time and not cry about every single pain she had, so sometimes she just has to let it out. 

Lena allowed herself to cry in front of Kara for the second time today. The tears came slow at first, since she was trying to keep it together. But once Kara noticed and moved over to hold Lena’s hand, she let the tears flow free. 

Those tears were one part happiness and two parts filled with pain. Of course Lena was happy that Kara was there with her. The blonde was here to support her and care for her with no judgement, and it was the most refreshing thing she could ever experience. Then there was the hurting that was crawling through her body. It was caused by her injuries and being in a new position. Her body isn't used to this, so it was screaming with pain.

Kara let Lena ride out her tears by squeezing her hand. It wasn’t a big action, but luckily, Kara knew better not to hug her, since it would make the pain worse.

After the crying had subsided for multiple minutes, Lena looked up at Kara with a crooked smile and stated, “I think I’m ready.” and ended her speech with a sniffle.

The smile Kara gave Lena was one filled with a mix of emotions. Lena could see a hint of sadness, a dash of uncertainty, and a bit of excitement. Those emotions don't usually match, but Lena knew it was appropriate for the situation.

“Kara really, I’m hungry, and I am positive you are too.” Lena joked trying to get her mind off of the negatives of the moment.

The blonde laughed and nodded. “You’re right, I’m always hungry.” Kara slowly started to push Lena down the hall and into the cafeteria.

Lena settled for a simple bagel and cream cheese while Kara dumped a heaping pile of scrambled eggs on her plate. The brunette laughed at how much food Kara was carrying since it would take her own self days to eat that much.

“Okay hold onto your tray we are going somewhere.” Kara chirped excitedly

Lena tilted her head in confusion, they came to eat at the cafeteria, where else was there to go? “Hmm?” She hummed

“You’ll see when we get there.” Kara giggled lovingly.

The whole time that they were headed there, Lena let Kara talk about random things going on in the blonde’s life. Her favorite sound was Kara, her voice, her heart, her humming, just anything Kara. Her friend is the reason she has been able to fight through all of this. Without Kara, she might have given up a long time ago. But here she is for Lena, bright and sunny when the mood needs to be lifted, yet still soft and careful like Lena needs her to be.

“Okay close your eyes” Kara whispered in Lena’s ear.

Lena quickly obeyed and shut her eyes. “Alright” She responded in a soft tone.

A couple seconds later warmth flooded her body as she started to hear birds chirping. Instantly, a smile formed on Lena’s face knowing Kara brought her outside. The aroma was refreshing and way nicer than the hospital smell. She had never been more thankful to be outside in her life.

“You can open your eyes” Kara whispers. So, she does just that. What she sees is a flower garden surrounding the table she’s wheeled up against. The sight was so beautiful she let a tear fall down her cheek.

“Kara this is more than incredible, thank you.” She responded.

The blonde smiled and took a seat next to Lena and began to shovel forkfuls of food into her mouth. The goofy action caused a laugh to burst out of Lena. She hasn’t been around messy eaters in all her life, so the sight of Kara stuffing her cheeks is far funnier than it should be.

About midway through their meals Lena looked up at Kara with a concerned look. “I’m being released soon.” She speaks with weary traced in her voice. 

“Shouldn’t that be exciting?” Her friend responds after tilting her head in confusion.

Lena flashes a sheepish look at the blonde. “Well I can’t live on my own for awhile, and I don’t exactly have people to lean on.” She looked down in embarrassment. It’s not always fun to admit that you have nobody. Well, no one, except for Kara, and she really hates to ask her such a big favor.

The sorrowful look Kara gives her made her feel way too small. “Oh Lena, you know I'm always here for you right?” Kara reaches out for Lena’s hand, and the brunette gladly accepts it. “I only have a one bedroom apartment, but you can come live with me, okay?”

Lena looked up to see Kara’s blue eyes staring back at her. “Um I can’t ask you to do that.” 

Kara once again tilted her head. “I insist. Lena, I’m your friend, and this is what friends do for each other.” The blonde had begun to draw patterns on Lena’s hands while talking, and it sent a sensation that she can’t describe throughout her arms.

“I um… Okay. But, why don’t you move into my place? It will give us more room and you can bring your stuff over so we can redecorate. I don’t think the place is really your style.” Lena showed her friend a small smile and tried to avoid looking at her in the eyes. Those ocean blue eyes always hypnotized her, and right now was too serious to get lost in them.

“Okay, I guess that makes more sense. Do you want me to have someone come make the place wheelchair accessible before you move in?” Kara looked excited at the thought of moving in together, so Lena couldn’t help but let her smile grow wider.

“Kara, that would be wonderful, thank you. I’ll have Jess bring some keys here for you to have.” Lena responded, way happier than earlier in the conversation. She’s more than glad to have someone she knows there for her through all of this, rather than a stranger.

All the sudden Lena sees Kara tense up and turn her head almost as if she hears something. It only lasts a few seconds before the blonde shakes her head and lets out. “I’m really sorry there’s something I have to do, I’ll be back tonight.” 

She noticed the panicked look upon Kara’s face and replied, “It’s alright, go.”

“I’ll send a nurse out to get you, sorry! Bye!” Kara yelled as she sped into the hospital.

If she was being honest, Lena was bummed that Kara had to leave so suddenly. It did help that she was outside and not crammed in that little room though. So instead of sulking, she closed her eyes and let the sunlight soak into her skin, making her feel warm and peaceful, for once in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping to get another chapter out soon, but I need to update my other fic first. If you have any question about the story and/or its progress, I'd be happy to answer them in the comments or on tumblr.
> 
> Let me know what you think about the story <3


	3. Your Mind is Playing Tricks on You my Dear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait! I got a job and I have finals both this week and next week so I've been crammed.  
> I didn't really edit like normal so sorry if it's a mess  
> Thank you all for the amazingly sweet feedback! It never fails to make me smile, so leave some more!  
> Thanks for the kudos <3  
> Come yell about manyell or your love for supercorp with me on [Tumblr!](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)

It was the first time Lena has woken up alone is several weeks. She missed Kara’s warmth at her side, she almost craved it. Not to mention, she missed Kara’s sweet vanilla like scent, which she imagined how a real home would smell. Well, that’s because she only feels at home when she is with Kara. Lastly, she missed Kara’s early morning, raspy voiced rambles. It is the cutest thing Lena has ever witnessed and she wanted to wake up to it every morning.

At ten o’clock like clockwork, her room door opened. Nurses bring her her breakfast at the same time everyday, to try to keep her body at a steady schedule.

“Just leave it on the table.” Lena snapped. Mornings are definitely not her thing, and she did not want to have to chat with a nurse right now. Granted, she did appreciate all that they’ve done for her and she realizes she’s a pain. But she hates being rude, and she can’t help it in the morning. 

There was a giggle at the door before Kara spoke. “I know you’re a crabby pants in the morning, Lena. But that is no way to thank me for coffee!” The blonde joked, sending warmth through Lena’s body.

When Lena laughed and thanked Kara, she also tried to pull herself up into a sitting position, causing Kara to almost spill coffee all over, by rushing to assist her friend. 

Lena pushed Kara’s hands off of her. “Can’t I just do one small thing by myself for once, Kara?” She snapped, being frustrated with her lack of ability.

“Lena, I’m s-” 

“Don’t” Lena finished for Kara. She was fed up with having people being overprotective and not letting her do things for herself. She wasn’t used to people taking care of her, or caring about her at all. It’s just way different than what she’s used too.

In response, Kara layed down next to the brunette and started to lightly run her hands through her hair to try to relax her. She gently placed a kiss to Lena’s temple and started humming the tune to “Reaper”, a song that Lena hasn’t heard before, but it makes her frustration lessen.

Lena does her best to turn to let Kara pull her into a hug. When Kara does just that, Lena buries her head into the crook of her friend’s neck and mumbles a quiet apology. Ater it, she lets out a few small tears, which Kara unfortunately notices. She hates crying in front of her, it’s embarrassing to seem so small. 

Kara tilts Lena’s face up so she will look at the blonde. “It’s okay, you can talk to me.” As she finishes talking, Kara’s hands float up to Lena’s face and she slowly draws circles on the brunette’s cheeks with her thumbs.

The feeling and intimacy of the moment causes her heart to race. Being so close to Kara made her heart want to explode, and for some reason it gave her a boost of courage. She started to inch closer, moving her eyes from Kara’s to the blonde’s lips. To her surprise, Kara started to lean in too. She could feel the blonde’s warm breath caress her lips, and their foreheads began to touch.

But the moment is ruined by a knock at the door and a nurse entering the room. Kara quickly jumps off of the bed with a bright red face and keeps her eyes to the floor. Something was off, and Lena couldn’t place her finger on it. All she could do was put her fingers softly on her lips, missing what she didn’t get, and craving Kara’s warmth and touch once again.

The nurse looks just as nervous as Kara and fumbles with her hands. “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She mumbled before wheeling a wheelchair next to the bed. “The occupational therapist needs you to do a lap before we send you home, he needs to be sure.” She explains before looking at Kara. “Do you need me to get her in?” 

“No.” The blonde whispers almost depressingly in response. “I can do it.” 

 

The nurse nods and exits, closing the door behind her.

The sudden change of Kara’s mood worries Lena. Did she do something wrong? They hadn’t done anything so she just doesn’t understand what’s going on. “Kara?” She asks, hoping her friend will let her know what’s going on.

She hears Kara whisper, “I’m not gay… Alex is gay, I can’t take that from her.” The blonde sighed and slumped onto the bed. “I’m fine.” She muttered.

Lena slowly sat up, concerned now. Kara was second guessing herself since she wanted her sister to have an identity that she didn’t have, which was not fair to Kara. She gently placed her hand in Kara’s, which her friend squeezed in response. “I didn’t mean to… It’s okay to not know.” 

Kara turned to face her with glassy eyes and flushed cheeks. “I can’t talk about this. I’m not…”

Lena looked down. She didn’t want Kara to see her eyes welling up with tears. She really thought Kara wanted to kiss her, that Kara wanted her. But like Kara said, she’s not gay. There’s no chance to be with her now. It’s heartbreaking, she doubts that anyone will be as friendly and trusting as Kara towards her.

“I want to go home, can you get me in that _thing_ or not?” She hated her wheelchair, but it was better than wallowing in her own self pity. Kara didn’t respond, she didn’t even look at her. “Kara help me damnit! I can’t do _anything_ without you!” She was crying now. She can’t lose Kara, she wouldn’t be able to live without her. And she’s afraid she just ruined everything. 

Kara angrily gets off of the bed and swiftly gets Lena into her chair. She helps Lena out of the room and says, “Go do your lap, I’ll talk to the nurses and get the discharge papers.”

“No,” Lena responds and Kara looks up at her with furrowed brows. “I’m sorry Kara, I didn’t want to upset you. But I need you to help me with this. You know how I feel about the chair.”

Kara bends down in front of her with guilty eyes. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll be by your side the whole way around the floor.” She stands up and instantly Lena feels a rush of relief, the overwhelming emotions Kara was showing seemed to disappear and it only gave her hope.

The whole time Lena is wheeling herself around sharp corners and dodging people, Kara was cheering her on. It was amazing what the blonde’s support did to Lena, it actually motivated her to do better and try harder since it was so raw and genuine. 

The occupational therapist was impressed at her improvement and gave her permission to go home. It was a huge relief, all she wanted to do was sleep in her own bed and she had been waiting over a month to do so. 

Kara left to get the papers from the charge nurse. She was a younger blonde woman, who couldn’t be any nicer, and her and Kara had seemed to get along great. While she handed Kara the documents, she said, “You make such a sweet girlfriend you know. It’s nice to see that Lena has you. Nobody else ever came to visit, not even her mom, who we called multiple times.”

Kara’s eyes went wide and she quickly looked down to hide her expression. Her cheeks grew to be a bright red and she kept stuttering over her words. “I um… heh. Thanks.” She nodded and tried to get out of that conversation as soon as possible.

\------------------------------

“I am never leaving this place again!” Lena expressed as she got wheeled into her apartment. She missed her home more than she would ever imagine.

“No way, I’m not letting the wonderful Lena Luthor become a hermit.” Kara laughed, knowing Lena was already one.

The brunette’s eyes shifted around the open room plan of her apartment. Her heart swelled with happiness when she realized Kara redecorated with pictures of them both and Kara’s family. She also added some quirky and nerdy belongings, but overall blended their two styles quite well.

“I see you moved in quite nicely.” Lena added.

“Yeah! Alex helped me. Well, after a lot of convincing. She didn’t want me to at first, but nobody can resist my pout.” Kara jokingly bragged.

Lena loved how Kara tried not to ever hurt her feelings when people don’t approve of their friendship. Her friend always tried to say something funny along with it to make the blow softer, and it was always too kind of Kara.

It was already late when they got home, and Lena was exhausted. So, Kara helped her into pajamas and into her bed. After she got tucked in, Kara turned off the lights and whispered, “I’ll be in the next room if you need anything. Goodnight sleepyhead.” She ended with a quiet giggle which put a smile on Lena’s face.

“Goodnight.” She mumbled on the cusp of sleep.

Lena wants to sleep, she’s incredibly tired, but she can’t. She’s alone once again and she hates being alone, especially at night. During the night is when she really thinks about the accident and realizes she won’t ever walk again, she won’t ever be able to feel her legs again, and she will never be able to look at herself the same way. She feels broken. Yes, the doctors said it would be normal and go away eventually, but she can’t imagine the pain ever leaving. 

She begins to cry and quickly grabs a pillow to muffle it. She doesn’t want to wake Kara, after all, she does need her sleep, she had a hard day. But all she needs right now is Kara’s cuddles, her warmth, her touch, her scent. It all made her at peace and made her forget about the harsh side of her new reality for the time being.

Not even a minute later, Kara sleepily stumbles in and climbs into bed with Lena. The blonde rests her head on Lena’s shoulder and throws her arm over the woman’s waist while mumbling, “I like all this space compared to the hospital bed.”

Lena sniffled and nuzzled her head to touch the top of Kara’s. She didn’t stop crying, but it felt better to have Kara there, she felt safe.

“Just go to sleep, it will all be okay. We can talk about it in the morning if you want to. You need rest, Lena.” Kara was mumbling to the point where it was almost indistinguishable, but Lena loved sleepy Kara and her mumbles, so she smiled and fell asleep to the steady up and down motion of Kara’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter  
> Also I hope you all have a good day and are doing well <3


	4. You Miss 'em Like You Miss No Other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got called off of a whole day of work and instead of studying for all my tests, I decided to push through my writer's block and write you guys another chapter.  
> To admit, this chapter didn't turn out as expected but I think it turned out pretty well, so I hope y'all like it.  
> As always I am a mess, therefore I can't guarantee that this isn't a mess, I didn't edit, once again. 
> 
> Thank you guys for leaving me some really sweet feedback. It always makes me happy seeing that someone enjoys my work, so if you have the time, leave me some comments :) constructive criticism always helps too!  
> Thanks for all your guy's Kudos <3

It was the first time Kara was going into work since the day Lena came home last week. Just the thought of being at home with a stranger taking care of her, made Lena queasy. She doesn’t trust anyone but Kara and Jess, they were the only people who ever showed they could be trusted. Not to mention, it took a long time for her to trust them as well, so she knows today won’t be easy at all.

Though all week, Kara had been acting off still. Yes, they would cuddle at night when Lena could not stop crying. But, overall Kara shied away from unnecessary touches, and tensed up when Lena would invite her to snuggle on the couch when watching a movie. The worst part about Kara’s behavior though, was when Lena needed to take a bath. The blonde would freak out and throw a towel over Lena and made sure she looked away from her at all times. Of course privacy was important, but it did make everything ten times harder than it should be.

The nurse was just knocking on the door when Kara was shrugging on her coat. She turned to Lena with a sheepish smile and whispered, “Please be good. I’m stopping at Alex’s first so I might be a few hours.” When she finished speaking, she opened the door for the younger woman and handed her a sheet of paper with all of Lena’s medications and directions for them. After she finished exchanging information, she left with a quick goodbye.

The red haired woman approached Lena with an outstretched hand to shake. “We’ve briefly met but I didn't get the chance to properly introduce myself. I’m Harper and basically I’ll just be here to help you with whatever you need help with.” 

The woman seemed nice. Harper was wearing a bright smile and seemed to be quite similar to Kara in clothing style. It didn’t make Lena trust her, or want to like her, but it did help make her feel a little more comfortable.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Lena as you already know.” Lena replied with a forced smile. “I can manage on my own for now, so just make yourself at home.” She finished before wheeling herself into her office to answer some emails.

About an hour later, Harper enters the room. “Someones at the door, do you want me to let them in?” She asks nervously.

Lena looks up and starts wheeling towards the woman. “I’ll do it.”

Much to her surprise, it was Alex on the other side of the door. It takes a second for her to open the door, it’s not the easiest thing to do when in a wheelchair, but eventually she gets it, and Alex stayed patiently waiting on the other side. 

“Hi Alex. You can come in.” She states and Alex comes in and closes the door behind her.

The short haired woman seemed slightly nervous. “I know the nurse is here, can we talk in your room in private? It’s um… about Kara.” She stammered. 

Lena looked at the older Danvers in confusion. “Yeah of course?” She responded before wheeling into her bedroom with Alex following behind her.

“Okay,” Alex started anxiously. “I really shouldn't be here telling you this so don’t even tell Kara I was here.” Lena nodded so Alex decided to continue. “Also please just let me get it all out before you say anything.”

“I’m all ears.” Lena responded, still confused. Why would Alex be so nervous?

 

Alex paced the room once before she started to talk. “Okay look. I know you two almost kissed. that’s why she needed to talk to me today. She said she wasn’t gay since she likes boys. But she mentioned that she gets a feeling when she's with you. She said her chest feels fluttery, whatever that means. Lena, I’ve seen her talk about you, she likes you. I tried to explain that she can like boys and girls, so you know, bisexuality. Which she never realized, being an al…… nevermind. But Lena, she ended our conversation because she accidentally said that her favorite thing to do is cuddle you and give you forehead kisses, and I told her friends usually aren’t that affectionate all the time. You need to make a move when you can, but make sure you give her a few days to process my conversation with her first. Lena, I know I’ve never been the most supportive of you but she gets so happy when you call her, or when she talks about you. Hell, she looks like a kid in a candy store, except she’s beet red because she’s so flustered.” 

Lena just sat there, eyes wide and mouth opening and closing, desperately trying to process what she just heard. “So… you mean?” She hesitantly started, hoping Alex would get what she was trying to ask.

The woman nodded. “Yes Lena, there’s a chance for you two. Just be careful with her, if she’s not comfortable..”

“I would never push her.” Lena didn’t even give Alex a chance to finish.

Harper knocked on the door and said, “I hope I’m not interrupting.” as she walked into the room.

“No,” Alex started as she moved to the door. “I was just about to leave, so perfect timing.” 

Lena was more than grateful for Alex coming to talk to her. She knows there’s a chance now. And that she needs to take it very slow, so Kara won’t be at all uncomfortable. She is planning on giving her a while to process the possibility of being bisexual though, she knows the whole sexuality journey can be rough.

Harper awkwardly walked over to Lena with a glass of water and a bottle of pills. “Kara siad you had to take your pain meds around nine. So here you go.” She explained handing the items to her.

“Oh no,” Lena said handing the pills right back. “I’m not taking these.” She finished. 

She hated taking pain meds and only took them when she was in unbearable pain. And when she did take them, Kara was home so she felt safe enough to be drowsy. She felt safe with Kara, always, not with some stranger.

“But you have to. Kara wants you to be able to sleep tonight without waking up in pain. She said she would be home late and is just worried.” Harper explained, trying to hand Lena her pills again.

Lena pushed the bottle away and handed back the glass of water. “I said no.”

“I can call Kara and have her tell you yourself.” The nurse retorted.

“I have free will, Harper.” Lena snapped. She hated not being listened to. It made her feel like she didn’t have a voice and that she wasn’t important.

Harper kept pushing Lena to take her medicine. Afterall, Kara hired her, and gave her instructions for them. She can’t just disobey.

“Harper just leave me alone!” Lena yelled, her voice laced with anger. “I can stay up and wait for her if I want to! I’m not a child!” She finished, with even more anger than before.

“Lena please don’t yell, you need to take them. I’m sorry I have instructions.” Harper spoke inwards, fearful, not wanting to be yelled at.

All Lena wanted was to feel independent for once. She needed to feel like she could do something on her own and not be drugged up at the same time. She hate not being fully aware of what’s going on. She needed a sense of reality. 

Instead of responding, Lena let her frustration and anger get the best of her. She picked up a vase of flowers that were on her bedside table and threw them right at the red haired woman. Luckily Harper was able to get out of the way, but the vase still shattered into many tiny pieces.

The nurse ran out of the room and dialed Kara’s number while Lena dropped her head in her hands and wept, not knowing who she was anymore. She never was a violent person, or someone who let their anger slip out. It hurt knowing that this accident changed her in so many more ways than just physically. 

Not even five minutes later, Lena hears a muffled conversation before Kara into the room and crouches in front of her. The brunette feels a gentle hand being placed on her cheek. She sniffles before looking into Kara’s disappointed eyes.

“Lena, we don’t throw things at people trying to help.” Kara whispered, she wasn’t angry but did seem slightly upset.

Lena sighed and let out a weak sob. “I don’t know what got over me.” 

She really didn’t. It’s not like she wanted to hurt Harper, she was a nice woman. She’s also not proud of trying to. Lena’s frustration just gets too unbearable and keeps building up inside, apparently until she bursts out in anger.

Kara slowly drew soothing circles with her thumbs on Lena’s cheeks. “We can work on this okay? Why don’t we get you in the jacuzzi and then watch whatever movie you want, so you can relax.” Kara offered and when she saw Lena’s weak nod she got her ready for the bath.

\-------------------------------

Once Lena was in her fluffy pajamas and laying on the couch, Kara brings over a blanket and some tea. Kara cuddles up next to Lena and wraps them both in the blanket. Lena smiles, knowing Kara might be starting to take her walls back down because of the talk that she had with Alex. She was more than ready for things to fall back to normal between them. She missed all of Kara’s temple kisses and hugs. Because, if she can’t be dating her, it’s way better than nothing.

“How was Alex’s?” Lena asked, hoping maybe Kara would reveal anything herself. Lena would wait until Kara was ready, if she even is bisexual, but she wants her friend to figure everything out first.

The blonde hummed before she started to speak. “It was good. She helped me start to sort some stuff out. I’m really glad her and I talked.” She explained while nudging a bit closer to Lena.

Lena couldn’t help but smile. The woman next to her was already acting more at peace with all of this and it made her excited. Hopefully this means that she could make a move soon. “I’m glad, Kara. If you need someone to talk to, you know you can talk to me right?” Replied Lena. She knows Kara won’t bring this up to her, but it’s still something the blonde should know.

Kara mumbled a soft thank you before turning the TV on and handing the remote over to Lena so she could pick a show or movie. She settled on Bob’s Burgers, a show she always watched after a stressful day. 

“Really? I didn’t think you would like this kind of TV show.” Kara explained in surprise. There were small giggles leaving her at the amusement of yet another one of Lena’s ‘secrets’ coming out.

Lena scoffed. “I happen to enjoy funny shows and cartoons! This combines the both and helps me cheer up.” She snapped back jokingly. It was more than amazing that she’s starting to get her best friend back.

One more laugh left Kara, which caused Lena to stick out her lip and pout. When Kara noticed, she stared, just stared and with eyes filled with something new, something Lena has never seen. It made her heart rate pick up speed, because it looked like a good kind of staring, romantic even.

Lena let the staring go on for about a minute until her feelings started to get too intense. “Kara,” She whispered trying to snap the other woman out of it.

The blonde shook her head and whispered, “Sorry,” while her face turned bright red. 

All Lena could do was let out a small laugh and draw Kara back into their cuddling position and left a soft kiss on her temple. Once the blonde was able to settle down, they both would laugh at the stupid puns and jokes of the show until they drifted off into sleep.

It wasn’t until one A.M. until Kara shot up with a faint line of sweat on her forehead. As soon as she saw Lena curled up next to her, she boosted herself off of the couch and paced back and forth in the room whispering. “I can’t… I’m not… Maybe I am?” repeatedly.

It took five minutes of Lena listen to Kara panicking, about her sexuality Lena suspects, for her to groan, “Just come back to bed Kara, sleep will help you feel better. We can talk about this in the morning if you feel comfortable.”

“I want to go sleep in my room. Do you want me to get you into your bed?” Kara asked in a shaky voice. It seems like she’s slightly crying.

“That would be nice. Thanks.” Lena mumbled. She felt bad since she would’ve never let the cuddling happen if she knew Kara would have some sort of panic attack over it. She just wanted Kara to be okay and figure things out without her being in the way. If she would just be okay with Harper being here, maybe it would help. So, she’s going to work on it and apologize so that Kara can have some time to herself too.

She couldn’t sleep after that, and she could tell Kara wasn’t asleep either due to all the noise she was making. Knowing her, she was doing some kind of exercising so keep her mind off of everything. So, all Lena could do for the time being is stare at the ceiling until the sun would come up and Kara was a bit more relaxed. It was going to be a long night.

\--------------------

Kara’s POV

It was close to noon when Kara woke up to Lena banging on her wall. “Kara wake up I have to pee!” She was yelling with complete anger. 

“Crap.” Kara whispered, knowing she shouldn’t have slept in this late and she was confused as to why her super hearing didn’t pick up on Lena making so much noise.

She ran straight into Lena’s room, forgetting she was just in her underwear. “I’m so sorry Lena. Let me grab your chair.” She went to the corner of the room and wheeled the chair over to her friend, confused by the giggles coming from Lena.

She furrowed her brows and tilted her head. “What?” She asked, a bit snappy from being tired and confused.

Lena shook her head, “You forgot to get dressed.” she snorted. 

Kara grew bright red but it looked like she was more angry than anything. “Is it really that bad?!” She retorted, feeling ashamed of her body, especially when the person she might actually like laughing at her.

Lena’s eyes went wide. “No, no no!” The brunette’s hands were waving in the air rapidly. “Kara, you’re beautiful. I mean have you looked in a mirror?” By the time Lena finished talking, her face was slightly flushed with a pink color.

Kara stammered for a second, letting herself calm down as well. “Oh.” She let out. She doesn’t really know how to react. It’s not like people see her half naked and call her beautiful everyday. 

“Kara, I still really have to pee.” Lena interrupted her staring and new thoughts with an uncomfortable face.

“Right!” Responded Kara, as she helped Lena get into her chair and to the toilet.

When they were done with that, Kara brought Lena to the kitchen for breakfast. “You have OT and PT today in about an hour. I’m not sure if you remembered.” Kara reminds Lena.

The woman nodded. “You will be here for it right?” Lena hopefully asked her friend, wanting support through it. 

The blonde’s face turned to be apologetic. “Yeah about that…. I had to leave work early yesterday so I have to go in today so I thought it would be the best time so I can have you to myself when I’m home.” She explained regretfully.

Of course she wanted to be there for Lena. She knows how much her friend hates occupational and physical therapy. It’s hard on her both physically and mentally and all Lena needs is support through it. But, she knows Lena will be in good hands with both of her highly trained therapists as well as Heather, who will be there for Lena when the two have to leave.

“Oh.” Lena muttered, sounding let down. 

Kara bent down and placed a soft hand on Lena’s knee. “I won’t be gone for more than three hours. We can do whatever you want when I get back. I’ll even bring you food!” She explained, trying to cheer her friend up.

Lena replied with a small smile. “Yeah, Chinese.”

\---------------------

Kara had used her super speed in secrecy to get her work done an hour early today. She needed some time to talk to Alex before she went home since she was feeling anxious about the whole ‘bisexual’ thing. It’s a new thing to her and it is way too overwhelming to be processing it on her own. She doesn’t even know if her feelings for Lena are romantic or she’s just really good friends with her. It’s not like she really has many friends that are girls. She has Alex and Maggie, the rest of her friends are guys. 

But then there’s Lena, who she can’t figure out what she feels for her. It was so easy sorting out her feelings for everyone else, but with her, its different. She doesn't feel this way with her friends, and it’s different than anyone she’s ever liked. Maybe it’s a stronger connection? Who knows?

All of her thoughts swam through her head as she flew to Alex’s apartment and as soon as she landed, she was greeted by Maggie.

“You know that it’s Alex and I’s only day off, right?” The brunette asks while raising an eyebrow.

Kara shook her body in order to pout. “But I need to talk to you guys.” She whined, trying to win Maggie over.

Luckily, Alex walked in the room and asked, “What’s up?” when she spotted her little sister.

A sigh left Kara as she flopped down onto the sofa. “I’m just confused, Alex. I need advice.” She did feel better after her and Alex’s first talk, but the effect of it didn’t seem to last very long. She needed reassurance. To feel like she’s valid, and what she feels is valid so that maybe she could truly recognize what she feels for Lena.

Alex takes a deep breath and pulls Maggie to the couch with her. “Kara, you in the end only you can decide what you feel for Lena. But to be honest, both Maggie and I do think you have feelings for her. You did tell me that you wanted to kiss her, remember?” Alex raised her eyebrows at the question as she watched Kara’s face redden.

“Yeah, Alex and I put a bet on who would make a move first!” Maggie added and got an elbow to her side. “Omph. Hey!” She trailed off after she received the light blow.

Kara’s eyes flash with a bit of neglect. “I can’t believe you two!” She scoffed. “I’m trusting you both by telling you something I’m struggling with and you turn it into a game. Not cool. Alex I would expect you to know that this isn’t easy, seeing as you went through a very similar thing not long ago. And Maggie, I know you know that this can be challenging and life changing. So please, just don’t.” She paused, looking up so she wouldn’t let a stubborn tear leave her eye. “Guys I just don’t know what to do.” She whispered, in efforts to not start sobbing.

Maggie pulled Kara into a very warm hug. “I’m sorry Kara, I didn't mean to upset you. I think you know how you feel for Lena. I know it’s tough to accept it at first but it gets easier, just be you, and try not to pull away and freak out. Fight through the butterflies in your stomach, it’s worth the effort.” She explained with the sweetest and most understanding voice.

Surprisingly Maggie was being quite genuine and sympathetic towards her right now. Of course Maggie is normally a genuine person, but it’s never been so raw and true pointed at Kara. It made her feel accepted and loved. She already started to consider Maggie as another sister, but this talk pretty much sealed the bond.

“Hey Kara?” Alex asked, waiting for her sister to take hold of her outstretched hand. “Just know that whatever you decide to label yourself, and whoever you happen to have feelings for, or even love. Just know, we will always love you and you’ll always be my little sister.” 

The unconditional love that Alex always showed Kara made her feel like she was actually important. Sure, Supergirl was important, but nobody just expressed common gratitude or affection to Kara often. But Alex never failed to make Kara feel valued as a person, not just a superhero. She was more than fortunate and blessed to call Alex her big sister.

“Thank you guys.” Kara whispered in response and pulled the other two women into a big hug. “I don’t know what I would do without you two.” She mumbled, which Alex and Maggie both smiled at.

“Now what are you still doing here? Go get the girl!” Maggie joked which made Kara giggle. That woman never failed to make any moment somewhat happy. 

“Right! Maybe not today, but soon!” Kara yelled as she started to fly out of the window. She felt liberated. She knows she will have doubts, and she’s still not completely sure about her feelings yet. But she’s getting there, getting closer to figuring out and accepting who she is, and being happy about it. If anything Kara is happy she’s going through this experience, because it will only make her stronger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be writing in Kara's POV often, but it's an important part of the story line so I couldn't pass up the opportunity.
> 
> Feel free to message me on [Tumblr](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)  
> , I'm pretty much always on that site, so y'all are always welcome in my ask box or messages. I don't bite!


	5. I Ache for Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more dialogue based as I was struggling with bad writers block. I hope it's not too choppy for you guys.  
> I didn't edit like always whoops.  
> Thanks for the comments! The support always helps me stay motivated to write more <3  
> Thanks for the kudos!
> 
> *Someone mentioned that Lena is not really like her oc. Yes! that's right! Lena went through a tramatic and life changing event so she won't be herself at first. But as time goes on, she will get more like herself.*
> 
> [Come talk to me on Tumblr!](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)

“It’s um hard to sleep.” Lena starts. She hates admitting it, even when it's just with her doctors. She can sleep sometimes, but it’s restless and doesn’t give her much relief. Most nights she lets Kara hold her as she cries, or is whimpering from pain. 

At this point, she’s starting to get better emotionally. But sometimes at night, she remembers all the little activities she would do throughout her day that she took for granted, and desperately wants to go back to it. 

Then there’s the other pain, the physical one. Lena has made it clear that she hates her pain medicine, so she isn’t pushed to take it when Kara’s home. She keeps telling herself she will get used to the sharp pains in her back, or the stabbing feeling in her ribs, but being used to pain isn’t the same as not being in it. It’s exhausting to always be in pain, and not getting restful sleep surely doesn't help.

Her psychiatrist flashes a concerned look. “And why do you think that is?” The woman asked, knowing the answer already.

Lena looked down and muttered. “Pain, I know. ‘Take you medicine Lena. It will help’” The brunette sighs, knowing that she may have to actually start taking those pain killers. “I just don’t like feeling so… out of it.”

“That’s why I’m going to prescribe you a weak muscle relaxer. It will help with pain at night and make you fall asleep. It will make you a little loopy, so just get right to bed when you take it and everything will be fine.” The doctor explained sweetly to her. The woman always had a look of understanding in her eyes while talking to her. Which made Lena all the more trusting of her.

“I don’t-- okay, I’ll try.” Lena responds softly. As much as she doesn’t want to be on medication, she knows it won’t hurt to try for a little while to see if she is okay with them. 

Her doctor hands her a filled out prescription sheet and says, “If Kara can confirm that you take these all this week and sleep, you can start going back to work if you think it won't cause too much stress.” 

Lena brightens up, she wants to start to go back to work, especially because it will help get her mind off of everything that’s been going on. She won’t throw herself back in though, it would be far too overwhelming. But, anything helps, especially doing more than just her paperwork and emails.

The physiatrist wraps up with her before saying a quick goodbye and leaving to go back to her office.

After her doctor is out of the room, Lena puts the note into her pocket and wheels her way into the livingroom to find Kara sitting on the couch. She wheels over to her friend and reaches her arms out for assistance getting onto the couch.

“Lena you know the more we move you in and out of your chair, the more its going to hurt your spine.” Kara responded with a worried expression.

“But I want to cuddle.” Lena pouted in response. Lately Kara has been back to her normal affectionate self and Lena couldn't help but take every opportunity to snuggle up with her. Kara made her feel safe, loved and content, for once in her life. 

Kara laughed in response. “How can I say no to that?” She responds while gently getting Lena onto the couch and letting her cuddle up with her.

Lena nuzzled into Kara’s chest, loving the smell and warmth of her friend, as well as the strong heartbeat that soothed her. She stayed wrapped in Kara’s arms, slowly starting to doze off, until Kara started to shift upright.

The face Kara was showing Lena was nervous and excited at the same time. It was strange to see and she couldn’t read what was going on.

“I..um Lena. We uh need to um talk.” Kara stammered, seeming unsure of something she was about to do.

Lena just looks at her friend, giving her time to say what she wants to say. But then Kara is starting to unbutton her shirt. Lena has no clue what is going on, this doesn't seem like something Kara would do. But then again, Kara is unbuttoning her shirt! As soon as it registers, Lena’s face turns beet red and she continuously opens and shuts her mouth.

When words fail to come, Lena just reaches her arms out and starts buttoning Kara’s shirt back up. “That’s not talking Kara, it’s doing.” Lena responds frantically, while trying to prevent her friend from getting ahead of herself. “Kara, why don’t we talk about this first? You seem nervous, I think it’s better to talk.” 

But Kara doesn't respond. She keeps unbuttoning her shirt, well, trying to at least. After Lena tries to keep her friends shirt on for awhile, Kara pushes her hands away. “Let me do this, please.” She spoke pleadingly.

The blonde’s hands carefully slide down her shirt, unbuttoning it as she goes. Lena’s heart can’t help but race at what’s happening, but she feels bad. Kara hasn’t really had the easiest time coming to terms and so Lena feels like she’s somehow taking advantage. But when Kara looks down and slides her glasses off, it all clicks into place. She’s coming out, as supergirl.

Kara looks up nervously and spreads open her shirt. “I should have told you sooner. I’m sorry.”

Lena shows Kara a loving smile and starts to trace the crest lightly with her index finger. “It’s alright. I already figured it out.” She breathes out trying not to break into nervous laughter. She feels bad at thinking Kara was going to do something completely different. “I thought that you knew that already.” She lets out as she looks back up to Kara, who has cheeks lightly dusted with pink.

“Oh, I guess I was too worked up about my s- personal stuff to realize.” Kara chuckled back, catching herself from saying the truth that Lena already knows.

“I wish you would talk about it with me Kara. It might help.” Lena responds, wanting to know if she will ever be able to be in a potential relationship with Kara. 

“I can’t.” Kara responds and Lena looks away in defeat. “But um Lena?” Asks, Kara.

Lena turns her head around only to be a few inches away from Kara’s face. She can feel the blonde’s warm breath caress her lips and she sees Kara’s eyes flicker down to her lips. She wants wants nothing more than to be able to--

She feels Kara’s lips meet hers in complete desperation. The blonde’s lips are soft, softer than Lena could ever imagine. And not to mention, the touching of their lips makes them tingle in satisfaction. 

Before she knows it, Kara’s tongue is begging for entrance. As much as she would love to take this further, she breaks the kiss slowly. “Kara,” she breathes, barely audible.

“Hmm?” The other woman hummed in response, looking slightly hurt.

Lena brings her hand to gently lay on Kara’s cheek. “Are you sure this is what you want?” Lena asks, unsure if Kara was really ready for this. She doesn't want her getting overwhelmed.

“I couldn’t be moreso” Kara replies and moves slowly towards Lena to connect their lips again.

And oh, this kiss was better than the first. It’s slow and steady, allowing everything to be felt way stronger than their rushed first kiss. Lena blushes and continues to deepen the kiss when Kara lets out a hum in satisfaction. 

The two women get so wrapped up in the kiss they don’t hear the door open. 

“Hey guys I--” Alex froze seeing her sister kissing Lena. Maggie just stood there smirking. As soon as Alex finishes speaking though, Kara goes rigid and pulls away from the kiss. 

The whole walking in on their first kiss was kind of a buzz kill. Lena wanted to have that moment last forever, it was something of a fantasy. Kara kissing her with oh so sweet lips after what felt like an eternity of waiting. But unfortunately, Maggie and Alex have to just walk right in like they own the place.

Maggie walked over to Kara with the proudest grin. “Oooo girl get you some!” She teased, making Kara’s face turn even redder.

“I um…. Heh… Alex what were you saying?” Kara responded, trying to avoid the awkwardness.

Alex sat in between both Kara and Lena. “Forget that. I’m hurt that neither of you told me about this! Kara, I knew you wouldn’t tell me right away. But Lena, oh boy you had no right to keep this from me! I thought we were buds!” Alex explained, sounding falsely offended.

Lena tilted her head and responded, “To be fair this is only the first time.” She only says this in hope that the two will leave, she just wants to be back in her and Kara’s little bubble once again. Everything was perfect then, they were happy and at peace, like they were the only two people in the world.

Alex eyes go wide as she stands up and grabs Maggie’s hand. “Rain check on these plans then. I just remembered we have to.. Um.. water our plants.” and with that, the couple leaves, giving Kara ad Lena some privacy.

“Kara?” Lena asks, noticing the blonde seems tense. She hopes Kara still wants her, that it wasn't too much.

Kara sighs and rests her head on Lena’s shoulder, not responding.

It worries Lena. Maybe Kara’s overwhelmed? Or somehow in shock? Possibly embarrassed? She hopes it’s none of these, she’d rather Kara just be processing what happened. 

“Hey, Kara, talk to me?” Lena asks, not wanting to seem forceful, so Kara has some time to settle down.

Instead of talking, Kara turns her head to kiss Lena once again. It’s so soft and delicate that she lets it happen at first. But Lena breaks the kiss shortly after.

Lena sighs, “As much as I love kissing you, we need to talk about it.” She explains, looking at Kara’s puppy dog eyes that are oh so convincing, but she won't fall for it this time, Kara deserves to be able to sort it out with her.

Kara shifts uncomfortably. “I just… I don't know how to talk about it. All I know is I feel something for you, I’m drawn to you. I’ve never felt this way before. That’s all I know how to say.” 

It breaks Lena’s heart to hear the blonde talk about what’s going on. All it does is reminds her of when she was discovering her sexuality and how hard it was on her. But, at least Lena recognizes the difficulties and is willing to be slow and careful, so Kara is comfortable the whole time.

“And that is completely fine, and normal. Kara, if you are willing to try this then by all means, let’s do it. I never thought I would tell you this but i've had feelings for you for quite some time now. But, that won’t change the fact that if you do decide that what you feel for me isn't romantic, that I won’t force you to be in a relationship. I won't be mad and I’ll understand.” She explains with complete understanding.

Kara’s face softens, looking more comfortable with the situation. “I um yeah. This is what I want. I want to try this.” the blonde responds with blushed cheeks.

Lena smirks, “Are you saying you want to be my girlfriend?” She teases, knowing Kara is far too adorable when teased. It always makes Lena smile seeing her get all flustered and giggly.

A sweet smile spreads across Kara’s face as she looks down, still blushing, even moreso now. “Um yeah, only if you’ll be mine.” 

Lena gently lifts Kara’s face with her index finger and places a loving kiss to the woman’s lips. “Of course I will.” 

She’s ecstatic knowing the person she’s had a crush on since they’ve first met is now her girlfriend. Yes, the conversation was a bt awkward and they already live together, but still, Kara is her girlfriend! The amazingly sweet, caring and talented woman is her girlfriend! By far, this has to be the best day of her life.


	6. I Was Drunk and it Didn't Mean a Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING This chapter has angst caused by alcohol/drug abuse so please don't read if it would be triggering to you. Next chapter will just be mentioning it so it will be better.
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely comments! They motivate me to keep the story going as well as make my day :)  
> I didn't edit once again whoopsies

It was nearing midnight on Lena’s first day at L-Corp. She had been there for over twelve hours sorting through countless documents and trying to make a schedule up for herself so she can slowly get back into the swing of it.

She lays her back against her chair, sighing while looking at all the work she still has left to do. Lena thought she would miss it, and she did miss her company, but now that she learned what it’s like to be home, especially with a loving and amazing girlfriend, she'd rather not be here at the moment. She wants more than anything to be wrapped in Kara’s warm embrace.

Jess walked into the room and shook her head. “Miss Luthor, you should really call Kara and have her pick you up. You need your rest.” 

Lena laughs, “Says you. I tried to get you to go home hours ago!” Lena loved how hardworking and persistent her assistant was, not to mention she was incredibly loyal. “Why don’t you head out, I’ll be alright for a while before Kara gets here.” She starts, “Also, I won’t be here tomorrow, I’m bringing this all home, so you take the day off too. You’ll be payed still, of course.” She couldn’t thank Jess enough for all the work she has been doing for the company, surely there would be an even bigger pile of work if Jess didn’t help keep everything moving.

“I couldn’t ask you of that.” Her assistant replies. “It’s all too kind.” 

“No, I insist. Really Jess, you deserve it. Now, I mean this in the nicest way possible, leave, go home.” Lena smiled when jess thanked her and hurried out. Her assistant is adorable when she shows an authoritative side.

Once Jess is gone, she focuses on the work set out in front of her. She works diligently for another hour before she lays her head down on her desk and promises herself just a five minute break. 

The five minutes turned into a half hour and she had dozed off, exhausted from the long day back at doing tedious paperwork.

She didn’t wake up until Kara started to softly rub her back. “Babe, you’ve been here since yesterday. Let’s go home, okay?” She says in the sweetest and most soothing voice Lena has ever heard.

All Lena can do is sleepily groan, which caused Kara to laugh as she situated Lena’s things before pushing her out of the building.

By the time they got back to the apartment, Lena was more awake, but a little cranky. It was the first time she had been able to sleep on her own without any medication and she wanted to go back to it. But walking through the door she could smell food. Which her stomach rumbled at, she hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

“I um cooked dinner a few hours ago and heated it up before I left to get you. I didn’t think you would be out so late so I kinda snacked a bit… I mean I got takeout and yeah... “ Kara nervously admitted which caused Lena to giggle. She loved Kara’s eating habits and how cute she is over it.

“Kara, come here.” Lena responds while making sleepy grabby hands. 

When Kara lets out a soft laugh and walks over to her girlfriend, Lena grabs her shirt and pulls the blonde onto her lap. “I missed you,” She whispers before capturing Kara’s lips in a kiss. Before she knows it, Kara’s hands are softly cupping her face and her own hands are resting near Kara’s shoulders. She hums when she feels the electric feeling of Kara’s lips on hers. 

Kara starts to laugh when Lena’s stomach starts to rumble in anticipation of food. She slowly breaks the kiss. “Why don’t I give you the royal treatment, Miss CEO?” 

Her eyebrows raise at Kara’s question. “And what would that entail?” She hums, loving that Kara just want’s to spoil her.

“Well,” Her girlfriend begins as she wheels Lena over to the table. “It starts with me feeding you dinner, then getting you into bed for a massage. I’m sure your back is killing you.” She sweetly smiles at Lena after explaining her plan, and it sends butterflies to her stomach. Kara is way too good for her, for anyone even, but yet Kara wants to be with her and make her happy. Lena could never get used to it, but in a good way.

Lena hums and nods in response, loving the plan. It allows Kara to start cutting up the salmon on the plate in front of her girlfriend, and carefully placing it in the woman’s mouth. All Lena can do is hum again with how amazing the flavors of her food come together. 

“No offense Kara, but there’s no way you cooked this.” She quipped, remembering that the blonde almost always fails miserably in the kitchen.

Kara laughed as she put a hand on her heart in a joking manner. “I’ll have you know I worked on this food for hours!” Which if Lena knew, it took multiple tries to finally get the food right.

“How did I get so lucky?” The brunette responds before Kara resumes feeding her. 

At one point Lena gets a bit of food on the corner of her mouth, but instead of Kara using a napkin to wipe it off, she softly uses her thumb and then licks the food clean off of it. Lena’s heart races at Kara’s actions. She doesn’t know if Kara was looking at her all seductively on purpose but wow does it make her brain and heart run wild.

It seems like Kara picked up on the sound of Lena’s heart picking up speed since the woman nervously laughs and tries to help Lena finish up her food.

“I’ll be right back.” Kara mentions as she walks out of the dining room and into Lena’s bedroom. She comes out several minutes later and begins to wheel Lena into the room. It was dimly lit with candles, and an array of lotions and massage oils were set out on the bedside table.

“You don’t have a table for it so the next best thing was your bed.” Kara nervously explains. “I thought your first day back should be ended with something relaxing.” She adds as she gets Lena out of her chair and into her bed. 

Lena’s heart swells at the sweetness of her girlfriend. Nobody ever puts so much effort into making her feel happy or special. Yet here Kara is, breaking all past experiences and rewriting how Lena should be treated. “This is all so thoughtful, thank you, darling.” She expresses, hoping that Kara truly understands how much this means to her.

Kara mutters a quick acknowledgement of Lena’s thanks as she moves to sit behind the woman. She toys with the zipper of Lena’s dress before asking, “Um are you wearing underwear under this? Massages are better without regular clothing.”

Lena turns her head to get a glance of Kara’s bright red cheeks. “Yes, Kara.” She tries and fails to hold in a small chuckle which causes Kara to let out a nervous laugh. 

When Kara slowly starts to pull the zipper down, Lena could feel her girlfriend’s nervousness radiating off of her, but then Kara stops, slowly draws a pattern on Lena’s bare back before zipping the dress back up. 

“You didn’t tell me you weren't wearing a bra!” She whispers in shock while standing up and moving to the dresser to get Lena a bra to wear.

“To be fair, You only asked about underwear.” Lena wittily replies. 

“Oh you know what I meant!” Kara quips before freezing as she opens Lena’s underwear drawer and sees lingerie. A nervous laughter escapes her which causes a huge smirk to appear on Lena’s face.

“Kara, honey, are you having a stroke?” Lena asks while her girlfriend is stumbling over her words with a rigid body and blushing face. 

“Heh erm okay.” Kara responds, finally able to get her girlfriend a bra and brings it over to help Lena put it on under her dress. 

Lena wears a sweet smile thinking about how much Kara respects privacy. It’s nice to have someone she can be with romantically that doesn't want to use her for her body. It’s also far too amusing to mess with her girlfriend in that sense also, Kara’s just so innocent and adorable and the teasing really proves it.

After Kara fumbles with taking off her girlfriend’s dress for a few moments, she helps get Lena situated, lying on her stomach. The blonde carefully starts putting some oil on Lena’s back, which the brunette tries to arch away from.

“Babe that's cold.” She says, into her arms that her head is resting on. 

“Oh! Sorry!” Kara responds as she starts to rub it into her ‘back, hoping it would ease the chill. She starts on Lena’s lower back and slowly moves up after she feels the knots break or become small. The noises that Lena was making in response would make Kara slightly freeze as they made the girl’s heart race. 

Once Kara reached Lena’s upper back and shoulders, she sighed. “Lena your muscles are so tight and full of knots.” Her tone seemed sort of sad, as she didn’t think it would be at all comfortable living with such a bad back.

“Babe it’s hard when you have big boobs.” Lena laughs into a throaty noise as Kara starts to work at one of the tighter spots.

All Lena hears is a nervous laughter which makes a smile spred accross her face. “They are heavy Kara, try sitting up with two weights strapped to your chest, that’s hard as fuck.” She furthers her explanation, knowing she shouldn't make Kara too uncomfortable, even if she is cute. 

“Oh.” Is all Kara says before she turns her attention back on the massage. “I hope this feels good.” She says weakly. 

“Kara it feels more than perfect.” Lena hums, half asleep with how nice it feels to get a massage. Not to mentioned she was once touch starved and any type of positive touch with Kara instantly relaxes her.

\------------------------------------

The next morning as Lena wakes up she feels a soft kiss being planted on her forehead. She smiles and hums at the joy of waking up with Kara.

“Good morning beautiful.” Kara whispers and the sound of her voice fills Lena with warmth. “I’ve got to head into work, Alex will come hang out with you today.” She regretfully explains.

“Can you get me some clothes?” Lena groans, noticing that she fell asleep last night in just her undergarments. Normally she wouldn’t mind staying that way all day, but it would be rather awkward if Alex would be there.

“Of course. I have breakfast and meds for you on the table too. I would stay and eat but I’m running a bit late.” Kara replies while getting her girlfriend some sweats and an L-Corp T-shirt. “You’ll be okay for an hour or so until Alex gets here right?” Kara asks as she helps Lena get her pants on and lifts her into the wheelchair.

“I suppose.” Lena replies, pulling Kara into a kiss. “Go be brilliant.” She lets out as Kara starts walking out of the apartment.

Kara says a quick goodbye and hurries out of the door so she can get to work.

Lena laughs watching Kara fumble with her belongings, but once the blonde leaves, her smile fades. Kara pretty much is her source of happiness, when the blonde isn't close by it feels like a part of her is missing.

The woman decides not to wallow and makes her way to the table. Kara made her some eggs and a green smoothie for breakfast, which is adorable since Lena knows Kara thinks green smoothies were sent here from the devil.

_“Lena why is your smoothie green?” Kara huffs with furrowed brows. “Smoothies are supposed to be fun colors like pink, not bleh green!” She finishes with a tilt of her head._

_Lena laughs at her girlfriend. “Kara it’s called a green smoothie, it’s supposed to be green.” She giggles when Kara’s head tilts more, almost mimicking a confused puppy. “Babe, try it. It’s good, trust me.” She responds to the woman’s confusion._

_“Um okay.” Kara replies while unsurely taking a sip. Immediately her face puckers as she reluctantly swallows. “Lena! How dare you make me drink that! It’s cruel and unusual punishment!” Kra huffs at Lena’s uncontrollable giggling. “Where did you get that nasty thing? The devil?” She adds, which makes Lena laugh so hard she loses her breath._

Within a few bites of her food and medicine taken, someone starts pounding on the door. Lena assumes it's just Alex, who loves to be obnoxious, so she goes over to open the door. However, it's Snapper, not Alex. It’s a huge mistake she opened the door because she hasn't wanted the media to be notified of the accident.

“Mr. Carr, a pleasant surprise!” Lena says, faking her happiness. She did not want him here, and shouldn't he be at CatCo with Kara?

He looks taken aback at seeing Lena, and to be honest Lena is a bit too. “Where’s ponytail?” He snaps.

“She left five minutes ago to go to CatCo.” Lena is well aware of all the nicknames Kara has from her bosses, she’s not a fan of them, but she’s not going to make things worse between Kara and her boss.

“She’s late again.” He huffs but then shifts his attention to Lena. “I thought this was Kara’s apartment.” He spits out, and god does Lena want him to leave.

“Yes, we both live here.” Lena slowly responds, not wanting to reveal too much, not knowing what Kara is comfortable with.

Snapper groans and sits down at the table. “Now I’m curious. What happened to you?” He asks rudely, and Lena almost doesn't want to answer. But she thinks of something that might be better on her end. 

She wheels over to him and raises an eyebrow. “I could just tell you. Or, I could have the talented Kara Danvers interview me, as an exclusive.” She figures it’s better to have someone who would write honestly in a positive manner instead of letting the press hear and exploit what they want to over the situation. She also can’t keep it a secret forever.

“This is why I don’t like you, Luthor” He grumbles before her stomps out of the apartment. 

She doesn’t understand why he’s so angry, an exclusive should help his magazine, so he's being far too overdramatic. But the whole thing? She feels a bit shaken up from. He wasn’t any sort of kind when he saw her in a wheelchair, he was rather blunt and rude. It’s not fair to her, or to anyone to be talked to about such a thing in that type of manner. It shakes her, more than she’d like to accept. It’s probably since she hasn’t accepted it herself.

She moves herself over to the table again to finish her food, but she just uses her fork to stir the eggs around the plate. She eventually gives up on the food as she’s lost her appetite. All she wants is Kara back home so she can calm down because everyone knows the Luthors aren't the best at emotion control. But Kara knows how to calm her down with soft touches and sweet smiles, she’s more than what an angel could ever be, in Lena’s eyes. 

Lena finds herself a bottle of vodka and goes by the TV to watch the news. Unsurprisingly Supergirl is flying to an alien emergency. She smiles knowing that incredible hero is her girlfriend. But as soon as the hostile alien throws a punch at Kara’s stomach and she flies backwards, and struggles to get up, Lena takes a swig of the alcohol. She scrunches her face as it burns her throat but relishes the feeling, as she feels something else than a stabbing pain in her spine and numb emotions. She takes an even bigger sip the next time she sees Kara get punched and the whole thing keeps going. 

By the end of it, she turns off the TV but keeps drinking anyway, trying to distract herself from her endless cycle of physical and emotional pain. She needed a way to escape her depression and anxiety of this whole situation and she only knows how to do it with alcohol. 

It gets to a point where she’s practically passed out and limp on her chair, and eventually her body is heavy on one side leaving her chair to fall over. Lena barely even flinches as she hits the ground, since she really doesn’t feel anything at the moment.

But when Alex busts through the door, she flinches at the loud noise. “Lena why didn't you ope--” Alex stops talking when she sees Lena hugging her nearly empty bottle of vodka, fallen over on the floor. “Oh my god Lena! You can’t drink you are on medication!” Alex yells as she lifts the dozy woman over her shoulders and runs to her car. 

“You’re funny!” Lena responds, not registering her seriousness.

“Kara is going to kill us both if you aren't dead already.” Alex says in a panic as she speeds to the hospital with her cars “police” lights on. 

A wave of relief is both visual and auditory from Alex when she hears Lena puking in the back of the car. “If you ruin this car, you’re buying me a new one.” She responds to both the smell and sound of the woman. 

\-----------------------------------

Kara arrives nearly thirty minutes after Alex get’s Lena to the hospital, since it took a while for Alex to be able to call her sister. 

“Alex I swear to Rao! What on Earth happened!” Kara huff, storming into the waiting room. Alex didn’t say why Lena was here over the phone, she didn’t want to upset her sister too much before she got here.

Alex’s face turns uneasy. “It took me an hour to get out of work, I’m sorry I thought she would be fine! You told me she would be!” Alex says, she seems hysterical, Alex never loses her sense of sanity, which terrifies Kara even more.

“Tell me what happened!” Kara yells, causing everyone in the room to turn their attention to her. “Alex, please.” She begs, now in a whisper, being slightly embarrassed at the small scene she caused.

The doctor came out as Kara was clutching onto her sister in efforts to know. “I’m looking for the family of Lena Luthor.” The man says and Kara instantly rushes over to him.

“I’m her girlfriend. She doesn’t have anyone else.” Kara stutters, hoping he can tell her something, or let her see Lena.

“You’re Kara Danvers, right?” He asked which got a confused nod from Kara. “You’re her emergency contact, so you can come with me.” He adds quickly, seeing how distraught Kara is.

The doctor brings her to the VIP part of the hospital and once outside of Lena’s room he starts to explain the situation. “Alex, the person who brought her here, claimed that she had some pain killers for her spine and then drank a whole bottle of hard liquor. We ran blood tests and pumped her stomach after the test confirmed, but we believe it was slightly too late, as both things were already in her system.” He explained and Kara listened with pain written all over her face. “You can go in, don’t expect her to talk, she hasn't said a word yet.” He adds as Kara moves to open the door.

Once she’s in the room she sees Lena staring wide eyed at the ceiling, hooked up to IVs and monitors. Her heart breaks at the site of Lena this way. She had been so happy when she left for work, it wasn't supposed to go this way.

“Hey,” Kara sighs. “How are you feeling?” She asks as she sits down next to her girlfriend on the bed. It hurts when the brunette doesn't move or speak. “Lena? What happened?” She tires, wanting an explanation. It just seems too out of character for Lena to do something so harsh.

Lena finally turns her head to look at her girlfriend with glossy eyes. “I… It’s too much, Kara.” Is all Lena says, well can say. She’s too weak and depressed to continue.

“Did you mean to?” Kara’s voice breaks, thinking about what could've happened. She never wants to imagine losing Lena.

“No.” Lena softly replies. “I don’t want to--” 

Kara panics, Lena’s heart monitor is beeping like crazy and her body is seizing. Kara flips Lena onto her side, knowing that's what she has to do, and quickly pushes the button for doctors to come in an emergency, she knows not to press the code button so she settles for the one next to it. 

A team of doctors and nurses rush in and pull Kara out of the room as she cries for Lena. And as soon as she’s out of the room she falls on the floor, her whole body paralyzed as she sobs. When she hears a flat line she practically screams of pain. She can hear the doctors trying to revive her she can hear--

Alex picks her up and brings her to the waiting room. Kara struggles in her arms, yelling for her girlfriend, but Alex doesn't let her go back. There’s nothing they can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please dont hate me, just trust me okay, stick with the story


	7. You're Not as Alone as You Feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys! I had half the chapter done and then my computer stopped working. This is a bit short because I didn't want you guys to wait any longer.  
> I'm planning the angst/sadness for two more chapters so just a heads up.  
> Thanks for all the continuous support! I means more to me than you could ever imagine, so again, thank you <3  
> Thank you for the kudos!  
> [Find me on tumblr here :)](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)
> 
> My dude [ DeePerfectShip](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DeePerfectShip/pseuds/DeePerfectShip) helped me write this chapter since I had writers block. You all should check her out. I couldn't have done it without her help!

Hours later, the doctor from earlier comes out to the waiting room and Kara rushes over to him before he even says a word. “Tell me she’s okay! I need her to be okay!” She pleads with the most pain filled voice you could ever imagine. Lena is her world, her happiness, her everything. She can’t lose her.

“I’m sorry Miss Danvers.” is all he says before a long sigh. 

Kara breaks down and Alex runs up to catch her. The brunette whispers soothing words in Kara’s ear before the doctor decides to speak again.

“She’s in a coma, we were barely able to revive her. Normally we don’t see cases this bad but the drug she was taking was strong and is extremely dangerous with alcohol.” He begins softly, making sure the two women understand him. “She’s too weak right now so we aren’t allowing visitors tonight anymore, but Kara you can see her for five minutes, in case something does happen you should say your goodbyes.” He finishes with empathy, knowing it’s never easy. 

“Can I?” Kara chokes out with tears. She waits to start going to Lena’s room until she gets a nod from the doctor and she practically runs there. She needs to see Lena and talk to her, even if Lena can't respond, she hopes the woman can at least hear her.

When she gets to Lena’s room, she carefully sits on an edge of the bed and softly puts a hand on Lena’s cheek. She shows a sad smile before leaning down to plant a kiss on her girlfriends almost lifeless lips. “Hey,” She sobs, not wanting to do this, but she knows that if this is her last time with Lena she needs to. “Be strong for me okay? You’re a Luthor, you’re Lena Luthor, you don’t give up. I know that because I have never heard of you giving up on anything. You can do this, I believe in you.” Kara plants a kiss on Lena’s forehead and sniffles. “B-b-but-t i-i-iff you c-cant i w-w-wo-n-nt buh-be mad. I-I wi-ill t-t-try to under-under-stand.” She chokes out before laying her head on Lena’s chest, needing to be closer to the sound of her heart, because her super hearing isn't enough anymore, she needs to be close, she needs to feel it beating. 

“I will understand…” She pauses in tears, not wanting this to be goodbye, but this is only just in case, she reminds herself so she can get through this. “Because I- because I love you-- I love you Lena Luthor.” She cries out, desperately wanting Lena to hear her, to hear her and wake up, only to tell her that she loves her too and this is all some cruel joke. “Okay? I love you!” 

When the doctor and Alex walk in the room to make her leave, Kara is curled up beside Lena, asleep. Alex tries to pick her up as slowly as possible, not to wake her up and brings her sister back to her own apartment, she wasn't going to let her sister wake up alone after this.

Kara shoots up sobbing near one in the morning. Her hand is clutched over her rapidly beating heart as she breaks a sweat. Her dreams were packed full with happy memories of Lena, until they weren't. Until it all turned to Lena seizing and her heart stopping, until she had to say goodbye in case she wasn’t strong enough to make it through the night. 

She was hyperventilating when Alex wrapped her arms around her. “I can’t tell you that everything will be alright, because I don't know that it will be. But, I do know that Lena is strong. Kara, she’s strong for you. I promise we can do everything in our power to get her better.” Alex places a kiss to her sister’s temple. “Now she needs you to be strong for her. Okay? Pray for her, I know you still pray. So use your faith and believe in her.” 

By now, Kara was clutching onto her sister as if she was a lifeline. Her face was buried in the crook of Alex’s neck as she admitted, “I do, I do believe in her.” 

Alex then moved them both to lay back down, knowing that Kara needs her sleep. “Okay then get your strength and go back to sleep. We can go back tomorrow.” Alex mumbles, while threading her hands through her sister’s hair, hoping that everything will turn out okay.

The rest of the night was pretty shaky for them both. Kara was rapidly tossing and turning, and it kept Alex up most of the night as well. But eventually morning came, and when it did, Kara flung herself out of bed and quickly got ready so she could go back to the hospital. 

As soon as Kara was done getting ready she bolted out of the window to get to the hospital right way. She didn't even give Alex any time to get ready and just left without her. The ache in her heart drove her to get back to Lena as soon as possible so she didn't have any time to waste. Alex would get there sooner or later.

The doctors brought Kara to Lena’s room as soon as she arrived. “So Lena already seems to be doing better. It not a big improvement but it’s still impressive how fast she's seeming to recover. At this rate we could try to wake her up in about a week or two at the soonest.” The woman explained softly to Kara, she was trying to sound sympathetic. But Kara could see something in the woman’s face. Something like confusion. Something like _why is this person so worried about a Luthor?_

Kara let out a quiet sigh. “Thanks. Can I go in?” she hopefully asked, not wanting to be separated any longer. 

The doctor nodded and opened the door, letting Kara go see her girlfriend.

The blonde layed down next to Lena and rested her head in the crook to the Luthor’s neck. “You hear that? You're doing amazing, keep it up, okay? You can do it Lena. You're strong.” Kara sniffled, as she tried her best to keep herself from crying.

After a few minutes of listening to the steady beeping of the machines, Kara was able to will herself off to sleep, now that she was with Lena. The blonde was exhausted from not really sleeping that night, she was beyond worried. But since the doctor said Lena was doing better and now that they are together, Kara was able to relax enough to get some shut eye.

About an hour later, Alex gently shakes her sister awake while whispering, “Hey Kara, let's give the doctors some time with her.”

Kara slowly sits up, “no, I’m not leaving her.” She mumbles through her sleepiness.

“I know, okay? But you need to stay strong yourself, Kara.” Alex responded with such kindness as she wrapped Kara in a hug. “Let’s go get you some food while the doctors check up on her. Then we can come right back, alright?” The older danvers finished as she helped a reluctant Kara get up.

All Kara did was huff as she let her sister physically drag her out of the room and into the cafeteria. 

“You know you're really heavy, right?” Alex joked as she got Kara into a chair. She got no response, her sister was blankly staring in the general direction of Lena’s room. Chances are that Kara was listening to what was going on in the room, or even just her girlfriend’s heart beat.

Once Alex realized she wasn’t going to get through to her sister, she made her way to the line to order them both food. She settled on a few slices of pizza for Kara and some soup for herself. All she hopes is that Kara snaps out of it, so she can eat something. Kara is not the happiest camper when she’s hungry.

“Eat.” Alex demands while she sets her sister’s food down on the table. Kara was still unresponsive, so Alex slapped her arm. “Eat god damn it!” She whispered in frustration. “You can still listen to her while you do.” The older sister explained, trying to get Kara to stop looking and acting like a shell of a human.

Kara sharply inhaled as she shook her head while coming back to reality. “Thanks,” She mumbled while looking at the pizza in front of her. It took a few minutes for her to start to eat, +-  
but when she did, she inhaled her food and bolted right back to the room. She left her sister again, only this time Alex sighed and went after her.

Alex frowns when she enters the room to see Kara silently sobbing onto Lena’s shoulder while whispering, “come back to me Lena.” It heartbreaking to see her sister so torn apart by this. Alex had never realized how much Lena truly meant to Kara.

“Kara I know you’ve never had it easy, and I can see this is taking a toll on you. But, I hate seeing you in shambles. I’m your sister and seeing you upset makes me upset. I love you, okay? I love seeing you happy, and I know you’re happy with Lena. This will be tough for you emotionally, but that doesn't mean you can't take care of yourself.” Alex explains as she soothingly draws patterns onto her sister’s back. “If you don't do it for yourself, do it for Lena. You have never been alone Kara, and now neither will Lena. I really hope she makes it through this, for the both of you” Alex continuous, and pulls Kara in for a hug. “Just know that I’ll be here for you both. I’ll shove food down your throat and sedate you if it comes to it, because you need to take care of yourself. Just don't let your stubbornness take over. We can't lose you.” The older sister finishes with a whisper.

At this point Kara is crying even louder. Alex always seems to know how to make her truly realize what’s going on and what needs to change. She’s always there for Kara, even when the blonde makes it difficult. “We shouldn’t even be here, Alex.” Kara mumbled while looking down at her feet.

“What do you mean?” Alex asked as she furrowed her brows in confusion.

“I mean you, Maggie, Lena and I should all be preparing for pride. We shouldn't be here. It wasn't supposed to be like this.” The blonde sighed and placed her head in her hands. “She doesn't deserve this. It’s my fault. I left her alone.” 

Alex pulled her sister into a hug. “Oh Kara.” She mumbled as she placed a kiss to her sister’s temple. “None of this is your fault, okay? The doctors said she was already doing better. Hold onto that okay? Hold onto your hope.” She explained softly while Kara nuzzled her face into the crook of her neck, trying to muffle her cries.

The sisters stay quiet while holding onto each other for a few minutes until a doctor enters the room. Alex looked up at the woman, “Do you need us to…” She started while pointing at the door.

“I’m here to talk to Lena’s caregiver actually.” The man replied with a soft smile.

Kara shifted to look at the person in front of her. “That would be me.” She mumbled while sticking her hand out. “Kara Danvers.” She finished, forcing a sad smile.

The doctor happily shook her hand. “Dr. Kelly, nice to meet you.” He smiled at her while pulling over a chair. “Since it seems she could be woken up pretty soon I need to give you these.” He starts as he gives Kara a stack of pamphlets. “She’ll need to go to rehab when she’s strong enough to get out of here. It’s a policy. Even though I was told it was a careless mistake, we don't make exceptions.” The doctor explained slowly, giving the woman a chance to comprehend the situation.

“I'll look through these.” Kara sniffled, looking at the many options in her hand. “Thank you.” She finished and leaned against her sister, completely exhausted.

“I’ll leave you three by yourselves. Have a good night guys.” He replied as he headed out of the room with a simple ‘you too,’ from Alex.

After the man left, Kara layed back down next to Lena and buried her face in the hospital gown she was wearing. Surely this was going to be a very long week for all three of them, that is, if Lena can even wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how the story is going and if you want to see anything :)


	8. Hold Onto Hope if You Got It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't edit this as usual, so all the mistakes are my own.  
> Thank you all for the comments! They really brighten my day and motivate me to keep writing <3  
> Thanks for the kudos!
> 
> [Find me on Tumblr](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)

It was a very long week. Alex forced Kara to go into a work a few times so the blonde wouldn't get fired. But that didn't mean that Kara was happy about it. The girl was torn apart and never wanted to leave Lena’s side at all. The blonde felt responsible for Lena being in the hospital, she was just overwhelmed with guilt. The only thing that helped was physically being there with her girlfriend.

On the ninth day, the doctors deemed Lena well enough to be able to get the medications in effort to wake her up. Only, Lena did not wake up from the medicine, even days later, there was still a coma induced CEO laying on her hospital bed. 

At this point Kara was getting ancy and starting to lose hope. It had been five days since they tried to wake Lena up, but it seemed she was getting to the point that it wouldn’t happen. Kara’s dreams were flooded with flat lines and funerals. Not once had she woken up without a tear soaked face since the medications didn’t work.

On the fifteenth day, Lena’s doctors came in on what Kara had thought was morning rounds. She woke up, cuddling with Lena like usual, when a doctor cleared their throat. 

“Miss Danvers, we are going to give it another try. Despite what options we might prefer, you’ve made yourself clear on what you want.” A resident explained quickly, recalling how angry Kara had gotten earlier in the week.

_“Since Lena seems to not be responding, Miss Danvers, it might be time to think of other options of care.” mumbled, the same doctor she had been talking to since the first day Lena showed up._

_Kara huffed with anger at the doctor’s half assed idea of patient care. “I am not giving up on her!” She started, fury building inside her. “I have faith in her! And as her doctor you should too!” Kara yelled, not wanting to ever give up hope._

_At this point Alex moved over to wrap her sister in a hug. The brunette held Kara’s head to her chest to focus onto the soothing sound of a steady heart beat. “Shhh Kara, we can wait a little longer. It’s okay.” She whispered into the blonde’s ear. After, she mouthed ‘you might want to leave.’ to the doctor while eying the door. He seemed to get the memo and slowly made an exit._

In response, Kara sniffled, trying her best to stay together, knowing this might not work again. But she has hope, she knows Lena, and Lena is a fighter. There was no way Lena would give up without a fight. “Do you need me to..?” Kara asked as she pointed to the door, anticipating that they would make her leave. 

One of the doctors shook their head. “No, you can take a seat on the chair. As long as you don’t get in the way, you can stay.” and that was all they needed to say. Kara quickly got up and moved herself across the room to the chair next to Alex, her eyes twinkling with hope, but shadowed with doubt at the same time.

The group of doctors steadily moved around the room, readying everything before carefully starting to work on Lena. They spent a decent amount of time with her, trying to make sure everything was done as accurately as possible. When they finished, they let Kara lay with Lena again, so that if the woman woke up, she would have some sense of comfort. 

The doctors eventually started filing out of the room one by one, leaving just one resident behind. They needed someone in the room in case Lena woke up this time. But after a few hours, hope started to grow dim. Not much changed. Her brain activity would rise slightly, but overall they seemed out of luck.

After another hour, the last doctor left, giving Kara the instruction to call the nurse if anything changed. But as soon as he left, hot tears started to flow down her cheeks. “Lena please. I need you.” She whispered over and over again until she fell asleep from mental exhaustion.

When Kara fell asleep, Alex gently kissed her sister’s forehead and left to go home to Maggie. She would stay, but she has work in the morning and needs some time to relax with her girlfriend after another emotionally challenging day.

\--------------------------------------------------

The room is quiet and dark except for a machine giving off a small amount of light, displaying a heartbeat and softly beeping to it. It takes a minute for her to open her eyes and adjust to the sudden alertness that she’s gained after all this time sleep. 

Lena then notices a heavy yet warm person to her side and she instantly smiles. Kara, her beautiful partner, who she could never be happier with. The blonde has been and will be her hero for as long as she can be lucid. 

When she is slightly more aware of her surroundings, she slowly lifts her arm to gently brush the long blonde locks of Kara’s off of the woman’s face. Her girlfriend stirs before groggily mumbling nonsense while rubbing her eyes clean from sleep. 

Looking at Kara’s hand, she furrows her brows. Something is wrong. She quickly takes Kara’s left hand in her own and examines it. “Where the hell are your rings?” She spits out, her voice is laced with anger and confusion.

The blonde shoots up and looks at her girlfriend with such pure happiness that looks too joyful for a human to ever express. But she takes in Lena’s first conscious words with a tilted head. “What rings? Lena I don't wear rings.” Kara replies, completely lost.

“For God’s sake, Kara! Your wedding rings!” Lena lets out in frustration. Does Kara not remember their marriage? Does she not remember their home with their-- “Nevermind that. Where are the little ones?” Lena questions, calmer than before.

“Little ones?” Kara responds, not understanding anything that Lena is talking about.

Lena’s brows knit together. “The girls Kara! Where are our kids?” She asked frantically. They had to be here somewhere, The brunette knows that they wouldn’t leave her side if she was sick or in the hospital.

Kara’s eyes went wide. “Lena I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She whispered as she looked down. This was all way too confusing.

“You’re telling me that you don't remember our wedding, or Cassidy and Quinn?” Lena sniffles with glassy eyes. “How could you forget? I’m the one that’s sick! Then you had to forget everything about our lives!” Lena yelled and turned over on her side to face away from Kara.

When Lena was in her coma, she dreamt of her future life. She proposed to Kara, got married, had a daughter of her own and then adopted a baby alien who had lost her mother. Cassidy, was her’s and Kara’s biological kid, she was just turning five and perfectly resembled both of her parents, her hair and eye color was the exact same as Lena’s. But she did have Kara’s wavy hair to go with it. Then there was sweet little Quinn who was a little over three. She was shy and skittish but was attached to Lena at the hip. Wherever her mom went, she went too. Lena was her hero. 

“Lena I don’t know what you saw while in a coma--”

“I was in a coma?!” Lena cut off Kara, thinking she was in the hospital for an entirely different reason. She thought it had to do with her legs. 

Kara sighed. “Yes, I will have the doctor explain what happened. Um well what you did I guess.” She admitted while rubbing the back of her neck. “But Lena, none of what you think is real. We were only dating for a few weeks before you got put into a coma. We aren’t married and we don't have kids. I’m sorry.” She explains sadly. She never knew how much that Lena wanted a family. It never seemed like it crossed her mind with how her childhood was. In one way, she’s glad Lena seems to want kids. The panic she expressed not seeing the kids she imagined proved she would be a good parent.

The mood in the room went from confusing and tense to heart wrenching. Lena’s eyes filled up with tears as a pit formed in her heart. She imagined everything. It was her dream life, one that she might never have, and she won't ever be able to see those two adorable little girls again. All she could do was bury her face into a pillow and sob.

Kara whispered nonsense and drew soothing patterns onto Lena’s back until the crying subsided. Then when it did, the blonde called the nurse in, to get the doctor.

About ten minutes later, the walked in the room completely shocked. Kara knew that he didn't think Lena would wake up, but she defied odds and did anyway. But now that Kara knows what Lena was holding onto in her unconsciousness, she can understand why she didn't want to let go. Hopefully they can one day have a family of their own.

“I suppose you should know what happened. I’ll start with how you ended up in the hospital and then go on from there.” The man sighed, knowing this would be a lot to let sink in, especially with Lena just waking up.


	9. Reality Will Break Your Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to start wrapping up the story, I'm not getting the response I had hoped for. So, I might end this and start something else. Though, if you all want more just let me know.
> 
> I might not be able to post next week, I'm going to be extremely busy but I'll try to get one more chapter in beforehand for y'all.
> 
> Thank you all for the sweet comments, they mean a lot to me :)  
> Thanks for the kudos <3
> 
> If you have ideas or prompts for fics you would like to see me do, feel free to leave them in a comment, or talk to me on Tumblr about it. I would love to start writing more fics and I need some ideas. So don't be shy!  
> [You can find me here](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)

Lena had been in inpatient rehab for two weeks and everything went pretty smoothly. She had both individual therapy and group therapy. Then on top of that she would also have coping skills classes and emotional regulation teachings. 

This morning she got to start off with a one on one therapy session. Allison, her therapist pulled Lena out of her hospital room and into one of the offices. “How have you been Lena?” The woman asked kindly as they entered the room.

The brunette sighed. “I’m fine. I just want to see Kara and go home. Everything was going fine until I stopped thinking.” She never made eye contact with Allison when she spoke. Normally Lena was powerful and could stare anyone down, but she couldn't even bring herself to look at the woman, fearing judgment.

“From my understanding it was more than just that. Lena, you admitted to being an alcoholic before the original accident. Do you think part of what happened could've been a start to a relapse.” The woman talked slowly and carefully to try not to upset Lena too much.

Fiddling with her hands, Lena responded, “Possibly. But I don’t understand why I would have an urge if I was overall happy.” She sighed and slouched in her chair, this whole time she’s felt defeated.

“Sometimes that’s how mental illness and addiction works. It’s good that you’re here, this teaches you how to fight the urges and unhealthy behaviors.” Explained Allison. She then looked at Lena sadly, wishing the woman wouldn't keep making herself look so small. “Good news though, If you can keep participating as well as you have been, they said you should be good to go home in a matter of days. Not to mention, Kara is coming to visit today!” She tried to change the mood slightly to get Lena more comfortable.

Lena wanted nothing more than to go back home to Kara. She wanted to go out on dates, cuddle on the couch while eating ice cream and she is most excited about hearing about the surprise Kara has for her.

“That’s the only reason why I’m working hard. It’s for her as much as its for me. She’s just so kind and beautiful, on the inside and out. She’s my hero, for lack of better words.” She expresses with such admiration for her wonderful girlfriend. “I think I-- I think I love her.” She whispered with teeth toying at her lips. 

“That’s a big word. How does that make you feel?” The therapist asked kindly.

It took a minute of thinking but eventually she mumbled, “Scared.” It was true. Anyone who ever told her that they loved her, and anyone that she has ever loved ended up hurting her somehow. 

Allison looked at Lena with a sad smile. “In what way?” 

“I’m scared she doesn't feel the same. I’m scared that I could lose her. I don't want to lose her, I can't lose her.” Lena expressed with a downcast tone. She couldn’t imagine her life without Kara. Especially since the false reality she witnessed while comatosed.

“You know,” The other woman started. “Being scared can be good. It means that you have something to lose. She means alot to you.” She stated matter of factly.

Lena smiled and made eye contact with Allison for the first time during a session. “More than you could ever know.” She responded with a sense of contentedness.

The rest of therapy was enjoyable for Lena. She felt more comfortable since she was eased into it by talking about the person that means the most to her. It was almost noon when the session also, which meant Kara would be getting there soon.

While she waited for Kara to arrive, Lena went back to her room and pulled a fuzzy blanket over her lap that Kara brought her previously. It was scented with the blondes perfume and made her feel a little more relaxed than usual. Once she settled in, she opened a Dr. Suess book that Kara insisted that she should read, that is, because Lena never read any of them.

She only got a few pages into it before she heard a soft knock and a bubbly voice swim through the room.

“Hi Lena,” Kara said sweetly while standing in the doorway.

Just those two words brightened Lena’s day more than anyone could imagine. “How has your day been, darling?” Lena beamed, all because she was with her wonderful girlfriend.

Kara moved over to her girlfriend as she replied with, “Better, now that i'm here with you.” and placed a gentle kiss to Lena’s lips. “You look beautiful.” She admitted to the brunette, which was responded with a blush.

“I look like a mess, Kara. I’ve got no makeup and I’m in loose pyjamas.” Lena stated, looking down to her fidgeting hands.

The blonde hummed. “Yes, but you still look beautiful. Lena you are beautiful without makeup and fancy clothes.” Kara replied, trying to convince her girlfriend and make her believe that what she was saying was the truth.

Lena looks up at Kara with glassy eyes and sniffles. “I love you.” She whispered while a tear ran down her cheek.

Kara showed a sweet smile even though Lena wasn't looking. She crouched down, slipped her hands into Lena’s and gave them a soft squeeze. “Oh Lena please don't cry.” The blonde whispered and when Lena let another tear slide down her face, Kara spoke again. “Babe, look at me.” 

It took a minute, but Lena inhaled and looked up to her girlfriend. Her face was slightly puffy and red from the short amount of time she had been crying.

“I love you too, Lena.” Kara hummed when she saw Lena’s eyes meet hers. The brunette let more tears escape her eyes, so Kara gently wiped them away with her thumbs. “I love you so much. And even now, you couldn't be more gorgeous.”

Lena let out a sob and a laugh at the same time. “If you want me to stop crying in time of lunch then you’ll have to cut it out on the soft girlfriend role.” Lena sighed. “I don’t understand how I ended up so lucky to be able to call you my girlfriend.” 

“I think I’m the lucky one.” Kara jokingly argued. “Now, let’s go get some food. I can finally tell you about the surprise.” She explained with a wink as she moved over to start pushing Lena’s wheelchair down to the little lunchroom area.

They ate lunch silently while Lena watched Kara nervously shift every couple of seconds.

Eventually the blonde bursted out. “Please don't be mad!” and immediately covered her mouth after the sudden loud speech. 

“Kara you did not!” Lena responded, knowing exactly what she wasn't supposed to be mad at. “You got a dog didn't you?” She asked with disappointment in her voice. She knew that Kara was going to give in to her love of dogs someday.

“I um… Kind of?” Kara responded, unsure of the situation.

“How did you ‘kind of’ get a dog, Kara?” Lena asked, seeming done with the topic.

Kara tried to smile, to get Lena in a better mood about this whole thing. She only got a glare in response. “Okay so I was looking into service dogs and normally it takes a few years to get one. But when I emailed a company about it they said one of the dogs in training’s owner didn't make it through a procedure… which is heartbreaking, Rao bless the man’s family. So the dog didn’t need to be a service dog anymore and was going to go to a shelter but they offered him to us. I couldn't say no Lena, he needs a good home and you need a companion for when I’m at work or just not with you.” She rambled until Lena took hold of her hand and offered a gentle squeeze.

“I would've liked it if you asked me fist, Kara.” Lena laughed, looking at how worried her girlfriend was. “But you’re right I need someone to keep me company because I can't ask you to stay attached at the hip with me forever. But if this dog is a brat--”

“He’s not!” Kara cut her off, not wanting for Lena to already have a bad impression. “Lena he doesn't bark and is really calm. His trainer said he’s one of the most obedient dogs they've had too.” She quickly explained before Lena could start talking again.

Lena hummed in response. “Okay, what breed is he and what’s his name?” She asked softly.

“He’s a pitbull and his name is Louie.” Kara responded and pulled out a picture of a mostly grey pitbull with big ears that stick up but are floppy at the same time. “Isn’t he adorable? Look at his little white paws!” Kara practically shrieked.

“I have to admit, he is cute.” Lena added with a smile. It would take some getting used to, but she was willing to give the dog a chance. 

In response, Kara squealed and was doing a happy dance in her seat. “I knew you would give in! You big softie.” She teased, only to get a muffin thrown at her face with a laugh. “Hey!” She giggled, trying her best to sound mock hurt.

\----------------------------------

On her first night home, Lena felt… empty. She didn’t know what she was feeling, it was almost like she was numb from everything she went through. So when she was laying on her side next to Kara, she was determined to feel something, she needed to feel something.

It started with harmless teasing by ticking Kara’s barely exposed stomach. But then Lena’s mind wandered elsewhere. To a place that begged for her to feel anything but numb. So when her hand started exploring up Kara’s stomach, the blonde’s eyes knitted together in confusion.

“Lena, this…” The blonde’s breath hitched when her girlfriends fingers started caressing skin at the bottom of her bra. But Kara knows better, she grabbed Lena’s wrist carefully and moved the woman’s hand away. “I know you’re going through a rough patch, but this isn’t going to help. As much as I want to do this, now really doesn't seem like the best time.” 

All Lena did was turn over and cover herself in the blanket they were sharing. “Whatever you say Kara.” She mumbled in frustration.

“I’m sorry.” Kara whispered in response before getting up to shut the lights off. The blonde couldn't bring herself to go back into the bed with Lena mad at her, so she went out to the living room and drifted off into sleep on the couch.

Lena didn’t fall asleep though. She stared off into space for who knows how long, until she couldn't bare not to be cuddling with Kara. After all it had been weeks since they've been able to do that. So she called Kara’s phone to wake her girlfriend up. When there was no answer, a small frown formed on her face as she turned to look at the ceiling.

A few seconds later though, Lena hears the door creak open and then shut. The next moment, Kara is above her and kissing that little frown off of her face.

“I missed you.” Lena admits when they break apart. 

“I missed you too.” Kara whispered back as she placed her head on Lena’s stomach and threw her leg over both of Lena’s.

The brunette smiles and kisses the top of her girlfriend’s head. “I love you, Kara.” She said softly.

“I love you too.” Kara mumbled, already half asleep.

In the morning, Lena woke up to Kara peppering her face with kisses. “Rise and shine sleeping beauty.” The blonde laughed. “It’s puppy time!” She announced before connecting her lips with Lena’s.

“You’re such a dork!” Lena giggled and pushed Kara off of her.She had to admit, now that she’s had some time to think about it, Lena loves the idea of having a service dog. She knows it will help her in so many ways and is excited to have some more freedom. She could probably go back to work more often, having the dog there to assist her, so she’s more than ready to get him.

Kara huffed jokingly before helping Lena out of bed and into her chair. “Do you want to go in your PJs or get dressed?” she asked while looking in drawers for her own clothes. 

“I’ll pick something out.” Lena replied, wheeling herself to the closet. She settled with some leggings and a olive green t-shirt. Kara helped her into her pants while she put on her shirt. After, Lena went to go brush her hair and teeth before emerging into the living room and asking, “Ready to go?”

When Kara heard her girlfriend, she turned to face her with a smile. “Yeah, let’s go get him.” She responded, walking next to Lena to the door.

As soon as Lena gets in sight of the dog, she falls in love. Louie is making his way over to her while wagging his tale so fast that his whole body moves with it. She can help but let out an “Awww, hi boy!” When he reaches her and is sniffing her legs. 

When the dog hears Lena talk to him, he lets out a noise that could be described as a purr mixed with a howl. It’s both the strangest and cutest noise that Lena and Kara have ever heard. 

“He’s precious!” Kara squeals, bending down to let Louie lick her face. 

The trainer walked up to Lena and shook her hand. “I’m Meghan and I’m assuming you guys are Lena and Kara.” When the woman saw the couple nod, she continued. “It’s nice to meet you both. I can see you’ve already met your new family member.” The woman said with a smile, gesturing to the happy pup close by.

“I never thought I would want a dog.” Lena admitted to the trainer. “But he’s adorable and I do need the help.” She added, knowing that this is something that will greatly improve her days.

Meghan nodded. “He was trained for a wheelchair user. So, he can help you with doors, picking things up, finding things, opening drawers, carrying things, turning lights off and on, helping you with clothes, and even help with emotional support. I’ll walk you through everything here and then give you some packets to take home as well. Normally you would work with us during a dog’s training but this is an unusual circumstance.” The woman explained clearly.

It was exciting for Lena to be able to do this. She had helt so dependant on having someone with her at all times, especially Kara, since that's the one person she trusts the most. But now she will have a bit more independence and she couldn't be more ready to do this in her life.

The walkthrough of everything took a few hours. They went over the commands several times to make sure Lena and Louie could work well as a team. Not surprisingly, Louie automatically took to Lena, though he mostly wanted to cuddle her instead of do commands. He was trained to sense emotional queues and seemed to want to comfort Lena through this. But, eventually Louie obeyed and got through the instructions.

The three of them walk out of the building when it was nearing four. It was surprising how long it took to get everything done to be able to take Louie home, but they are all glad they spent their day getting him. For once, Lena’s face was filled with hope, and that is more than worth their time.

While heading back to the car, Lena looked up at her girlfriend and asked, “Hey, um do you want to go out for dinner?” 

Kara fake gasped, “Lena Luthor, are you asking me on a date?” 

“I might be.” The brunette laughed, watching Kara be a goof.

“I would love to!” Kara chirped. “Pizza?” She quickly asked.

Lena smiled. “Your favorite place?” 

The hero gasped. “YES!” She yelled, forgetting she was in public. There is nothing Kara could get more excited about. She loves pizza from a place right on the outside of town which she can never get because the apartment is too far away for them to deliver. And it’s not like she should swoop in as supergirl and order pizza every other night, though it's mostly because Lena doesn't let her.

When they got to the restaurant, they picked out a small booth in the back. It was a nice and cozy place that really allowed Lena and Kara to be able to relax. They were able to order five pizzas, since Kara was going to devour most of it, while they made some small talk.

But then Lena completely changes the subject. “I was thinking about going back to L-Corp in a few days.” She let out casually.

Kara’s eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t you think you should give yourself at least a week or two?” She asked, trying not to sound judgmental.

“I need to keep myself occupied. I’ll wait a week or so before I start meetings. But, I know this is something I have to do. Also you’re slacking on work too you know. It will allow you to get more things done.” Lena explained calmly but very firmly.

The blonde sighed, giving in. “I guess you’re right. It should be good, for the both of us.” She responded with a smile.

“And besides, I’ve got Louie to take care of me while I work.” She started while looking at the dog. “Isn't that right little man?” Lena cooed lovingly at Louie, who was wagging his tail by her feet.

Kara let a loving smile spread across her face just because she’s so head over heals for Lena, and now with the brunette being an adorable dog mom, it just makes Kara fall deeper into her love for the Luthor.

They sit and talk about light subjects for the rest of their time at the restaurant. Kara and Lena were both happy and filled with giggles the whole time. For once in a long time everything felt normal as well as upbeat. Which is a nice change from what they’ve been going through.

\----------------------------

That night, Lena was laying on her stomach, with nothing but her undergarments on, leaving bare skin for Kara to sleepily trace along. Every once in awhile Lena would get a shiver at the feeling of such light and careful touches trailing on never before touched skin, that is by any other person than Kara. 

Once Kara stopped and settled down by cuddling into Lena’s side, the brunette let out a sad sigh. “I miss them.” She whispered.

“Miss who?” Kara asked softly.

Lena did her best to turn herself on her side to face her girlfriend. “My, well our, imaginary children. I never thought I would ever want kids. But now, I feel like there’s a hole in my heart for these two girls who don’t exist.” She explained while trying not to cry about people who aren’t real.

“I’ll tell you what,” Kara started and pressed a gentle kiss to Lena’s nose. “We can have kids of our own someday.”She added and got a sorrowful smile in return. She knows it's not the same as what Lena envisioned, but at least it’s something for the woman to hold onto.

“I’d love that.” Lena mumbled before nuzzling into Kara for both warmth and comfort. There’s nothing that makes her feel more at peace than being in Kara’s arms. So that's how she drifts off into sleep tonight, entangled in her loved ones arms, feeling nothing but relaxed and peaceful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how the story is going and if you would like to see something in this!


	10. It Almost Felt Like Nothing Changed at All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I thought people got bored of the story and stopped reading. I guess not apparently. So I came up with some last minute ideas for the plot line. I hope its not too messy since it wasn't planned.
> 
> I will try to continue to write this but if I feel like people aren't enjoying it anymore, like last time I will wrap it up. So fair warning to everyone.
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely comments on the last chapter, I really needed that to inspire me to write some more. So yeah, thank you so much.
> 
> The song used in this chapter is "26" by Paramore. Yes, I am trash for their new album.

It was another boring day in a long business meeting. Lena was with the chinese investors once again, discussing her current project and needed funds. They had to figure out the percent of money that the investing company would receive off of her profits afterwards as well. 

Lena had been in that meeting since six in the morning. But luckily, as it approached seven in the afternoon, she was wrapping up with the contracts. It had taken ages for her to explain her technology to the investors, since they didn't know what a lot of the technical terms meant. But when they finally understood the product, it was smooth sailing from then on. 

It only took about another half hour for the meeting to come to a close and Lena couldn't be more relieved. She finally was able to go back to her desk to pack up, go home and eat dinner with her lovely girlfriend.

As she rolls into her office, she notices a familiar face sitting at her desk, with their feet propped up on it. “What the hell Maggie! Get your filthy ass shoes off of my desk!” She jokes, looking at the other woman.

“Fuck off, Luthor.” Maggie huffs, fake offended. “But there’s a reason I’m here. I need to take you to the station.” She states very clearly.

Lena’s eyes go wide. She hadn't done anything to break the law, there was no way this was happening. “Maggie, whatever you think I did--”

“It’s about the crash, Lena. We found something.” Maggie explained in a very soft voice, not wanting to stir up emotions.

“It’s been more than five months.” The CEO responds, surprised that it took so long. She had told the police to leave her out of most of it. It wasn't like she wanted to relive the moment that forever changed her life, over and over again. She just wanted to space herself from the crash and pretend it didn't happen. But it wasn't like she could completely ignore it due to her paralysis. Though, now there’s no getting out of the investigation.

\-------------------------------

Once the two women were settled in an investigation room with all the files and a laptop to view footage, Maggie began to explain.

“At first we thought the person who hit you fled, there were a lot of people surrounding the cars and we couldn't tell who was who.” Maggie started and then flipped the laptop around for Lena to see. “But then we looked closer. There was actually nobody in the car at all. It's really hard to see in the dark, but nothing is in the car.” The detective tries to show Lena.

Lena’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “What do you mean? That makes-- Someone was remotely controlling the car, I’m guessing?” The woman asked in a not so happy tone. 

“Lena, we believe someone tried to kill you that night.” Maggie regretfully let out. 

It didn't make sense what Maggie just claimed. If someone tried to kill Lena and failed, why were there not other attempts? There would certainly be more attempt if what Maggie said was true. If anything, they could've been killed from their failure, or thought disabling Lena was enough for them.

It sure must suck for them either way. Lena rocks her wheelchair, and nobody can convince her or Kara otherwise. Also, not to mention, the Luthor now has a new outlook in life and has learned to be grateful for the little things. Afterall, not many people can say they are as fortunate as herself, and now Lena can fully see that. It also gave her more of a sense of morality. Even if she had decent morals before, she learned to be better because of this.

“It wouldn't be the first time.” Lena scoffed, trying to hide her fear and confusion.

The other woman’s eyes looked saddened. “As someone who cares about your well being, I’m worried about you.” Maggie responds, hoping Lena will take her seriously. The CEO needs to hear that this could be a big issue

“Maggie I basically have a personal superhero now. I’ll be fine. Just focus on catching whoever was behind this.” Lena casually dismissed. She’s a Luthor, it’s not like people haven't tried to kill her before. So she learned to cover up her fear to others, she’s supposed to be strong.

But in reality, Lena was terrified. She was afraid that someone could be out there trying to kill her again. But she was mostly scared of dying because Kara _loves_ her. Lena would never want Kara to go through losing her. She couldn't bare to think about causing any type of emotional trauma to her girlfriend. She was afraid of hurting her, even if it's not Lena’s fault.

After a sharp inhale, Lena says, “If it’s alright with you, I’d like to go spend some time with Kara after getting this news.” She sounds and acts completely calm, like the information isn't bothering her at all. But it's eating away at her already. She just started dating Kara and she never wanted that to be taken away from her. Lena one day hopes to marry her girlfriend and start a family. She never wants to think of her dreams being shattered.

“Before you go, you should know there will be extra security at your office until we figure this out.” Maggie adds. Lena responds with a nod and starts to make her way home.

Lena’s driver helps her and Louie in the back of the car, She puts in some earphones to listen to music as a way to relax.

_”Man, you really know how to get someone down  
Everything was fine, until you came around” _

 

_It’s true. But if this didn’t happen, would I have finally gotten close enough to Kara to date her?_ Lena thought, It was a possibility that they could've just stayed friends if the blonde had not grown so close to her after the accident. Fate sure does have a weird way of doing things.

 

_”Hold onto hope if you got it  
Don't let it go for nobody” _

 

She couldn't, she wouldn't. All she has is hope. It’s one of three things keeping her going each day. The other two things are Kara and Louie. The two beings that are a part of her life and care about her.

 

_”And I talk to myself about the places that I used to go  
I'm hoping someday maybe I'll just float away”_

 

_It would be nice to not be on magazines, have interviews or be on the news. But the best thing that would come from not having any of that, would be a simple life with Kara and I, in a small house with Louie and eventually kids. No fame, no paparazzi ambushes. I would be free to be myself.”_ She reflected with the lyrics. As much as she loves her life as the CEO of L-Corp, it would be amazing to be off the radar for once so she could relax and have Kara be the only thing on her mind. Instead of having both her girlfriend and the company on her mind.

 

_And they say that dreaming is free  
But I wouldn't care what it cost me” _

 

She would give away pretty much anything to keep dreaming. That was the only time she would be able to have a playout of what it's like to have a family. She had her little ones, Kara and Louie. Her dreams were her perfect life and she never wants to give them up. Lena can only hope that one day they become a reality. 

 

_”Survival will not be the hardest part_  
It's keeping all your hopes alive  
When all the rest of you has died” 

 

Lena couldn't lie. After the accident, she lost herself. She had no desire to do anything, work, watch TV, read, literally nothing. It was like she was a shell of a human. The song is right, survival is never the hardest part, it's staying hopeful. After all, there is a difference between survival and living. And the main distinguisher is not even tangible, it's having hope when times get tough. That alone, will make everything easier and worthwhile.

As the song faded out, she decided to replay it to stay in her thought. She did miss half the song due to really being trapped in her brain. But Lena likes music for the reason that it helps spark her train of thought. To her, it helps sort things out.

After Lena listened to the song three times, she felt better. It helped greatly to be able to relate to a song and to be able to analyze it with her own experiences. She also happened to be just arriving at her apartment building. It was perfect timing.

When she opened her door, Louie started a low growl. It was unusual since he was trained not to show any aggressive behaviors. But that’s when she sees it. A green glow escaping from under her bedroom door. It better not be what she thinks it is. 

“Kara?” She calls worryingly. Normally Kara is waiting for her on the couch with a meal on the table for her. Neither of those things were there and that was worrying.

It took a minute, but she heard Kara’s response, “Lena?” It was laced with both pain and fear, neither things Lena is used to hearing. The glow is what she thinks it is, kryptonite.

So all Lena can do is race to the bedroom and fling the door open. She was greeted by none other than her mother, Lillian Luthor, stepping on Kara’s chest with a handful of kryptonite in her grasp.

“Hello, Lena.” The woman said, with the nastiest smirk spread across her face.

Lena couldn't respond. All she could see and hear was Kara. Her girlfriend, who was shaking with pain and had tears trailing down her face. Out of everything she could have prepared for, Lena could've never readied herself for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next update may be in over a week, sorry I have a really important internship and won't have time to write.
> 
> I am taking prompt and AU suggestions! Leave them in the comments or let me know on [Tumblr!](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)  
> Just leave an ask or message me!


	11. No One Breaks My Heart Like You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Life got really busy again.
> 
> Not gonna lie, this chapter sucked the life out of me. It's so angsty so heads up.
> 
> Thank you all for your support on the last chapter, it came in handy while writing this chapter.  
> Thanks for the kudos!

Pure horror spread through Lena’s body. She could feel it run through her veins, into her toes and finger tips. Her body felt like nothing she could ever describe, seeing Lillian stand over Kara with kryptonite in her possession.

“Lena,” Kara hisses out with pain. “Leave, please” She barely chokes out, and boy does it hurt Lena. Kara is actually dying with this amount of the green material and she still cares for Lena over herself.

But Kara wasn't able to get another word out before she obtained a rough kick to the stomach. “Be quiet you mongrel!” Lillian yelled when Kara let out a sob.

“Don't hurt her!” Lena let out, sounding as desperate as an abandoned puppy longing for their home back.

“Those cruddy cops finally figured it out I see.” The leader of CADMUS snarked. Lena figured her mom must've kept track of her location. After all her phone is a GPS and hacking into is was nothing but a piece of cake to someone like her mom. It only made sense that she would've known.

The brunette stayed silent. Her eyes and thoughts were on Kara. She couldn't bring herself to speak just yet, afraid of showing how much she loves Kara to her mom.

The younger Luthor then watches as her mom rips open Kara’s shirt to reveal the House of El crest with a devilish grin. “You see, Lena? She was lying to you. She’s trying to hurt you. You know what? She can only hurt you. Kara is nothing but Alien scum destined to ruin this earth. Not some innocent reporter.” Lillian snarls. 

Lena takes a deep breath, “I know who she is, mother. She’s not scum, nor here to ‘ruin this earth’. She’s here to make it better, she’s good person. So leave her alone. This is between you and me.” She tried not to sound desperate, after all her mom was practically holding her whole life under her foot, she couldn't show how much this hurt her. Lillian would be smart enough to make everything worse if she found out.

“You are a Luthor, Lena. I’m only trying to show you what side you _should_ be on.” The woman simply responds. The words send a shiver down Lena’s spine. She never wants to or should be on a side that discriminates and harms innocent refugees that need a safe place to live. What her mom does goes against all of her morals.

 

“See that’s funny. Last time I checked you weren't. So you have no right to tell me what side I should be on.” Lena snapped, knowing she is a Luthor by blood and her mom, who practically drove her brother off the wall, isn't. Lillian was always the one trying to insert her views on aliens to both her and Lex, though it only got through to Lex, and he was ripped away from Lena. She no longer has her Lex, all because of this toxic woman in her life.

“Oh but I do. I am your mother.” Lillian replied with that same smirk from before.

“Oh but you don't. I am an adult capable of making my own decisions.” The CEO retorted.

“You’re insufferable, Lena.” Lillian started. “First you’re playing house with a filthy alien and now this? I did not raise you like this!” She finished with a pathetic chuckle.

Lena raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? Then who did? Because last time I checked, you didn't raise me, you beat me into submission, both physically and mentally. Also not to mention, you enjoyed starving me when I would get anything below a perfect score on school work. I’m glad you shipped me off, mother, because at least I didn’t get murdered by my own family!” She yelled through frustration. Yes, Lena knew she was going off topic, but she couldn't hold it in. Her mother always felt joy in her pain and it caused all her past anger to boil out. 

The brunettes eyes shifted to Kara, whose face was laced with pain. But it wasn't the girl's own pain, it was pain for Lena. She could tell by the pitiful look in Kara’s eyes, the look she gets whenever Lena admits to never experiencing something, or gets scared by loud noises. It’s her ‘I wish I could make everything better look’ and it rips Lena to shreds.

“And,” Lena begins to regain her argument. “Now I have a home, with Kara, someone who loves me and will care for me when I need her to. I have never had that before, especially not with _you_.” She hisses, really trying to get her point across.

“But I do love you, Lena. You just fail to believe me.” Lillian answered, sounding unconvincing.

“Oh and you fail to be a good mother, but that's beside the point. If you truly loved me, you would let Kara go and never come back.” The younger Luthor replied, hopeful that just maybe her mom wasn't lying for once. But in the back of her brain, she knew her mom didn't love her. After all, the woman tried to kill her.

A second went by before something unfamiliar flashed through Lillian’s eyes before they returned to their hardened look. “That’s what I thought.” Lena snarked. “What are you here to do anyway, to kill me? Because if so go ahead and get it over with. But you let Kara go when you're done.” She let out with complete seriousness.

“Lena, no.” Kara whispered and got another kick to the gut. 

“I didn't give you permission to speak, you fool.” Lillian hissed and Lena winced in response, she couldn't bare to see Kara in pain. “I thought it would be best to just kill you and finish the job. But then I thought, ‘what better than forcing you to watch what you love most get tortured and killed, and then letting you live to bare the pain for the rest of your miserable life?” The woman laughed, it was more twisted and deranged than anything someone should ever witness in their lifetime, but here Lena and Kara are, living through it.

Terror spreads through Lena as fear fills Kara’s eyes. It’s news they both never imagined hearing, especially since they are both helpless at the moment. But, the unthinkable happens, Louie arches his back, shows his teeth and starts a deep growl. 

Lillian turns to face the dog, unfazed by the sudden aggression. “What a pathetic excuse for a dog, he can't even help you with this.” The woman scoffs, looking at Louie with hatred.

What Lillian failed to notice was Lena taking out her taser and readying it. At this point, Lillian’s complete attention was on Louie so it gave the brunette a quick window to quickly wheel herself a few inches closer to her mom to tase her. 

Immediately, Lillian releases her grip on the kryptonite, which unfortunately falls directly onto Kara’s leg with a loud burning noise. But instead of trying to get her mother, Lena tries to get to Kara as fast as she can and knocks the kryptonite off of her. That split second gave Lillian a chance to get away, but at least Kara was in less danger now. It was all thanks to Louie.

If it wasn't for the kryptonite, Kara would've gone after the Luthor, but she could hardly move and stuck to her fetal position on the floor. Lena took this as her queue to call Alex at the DEO, seeing as Kara needed medical treatment.

\---------------------

It took several hours of pacing back and forth, waiting for Alex to come out and update her with Kara’s condition. Last time there was an update, it wasn't the best news. Alex had told her that the kryptonite had done a lot of damage to Kara’s leg and had blown out her powers. So Lena was anxious and couldn't help but wheel herself back and forth across the room for the long hours it took for Alex to come out of the room again.

As soon as Alex emerged from the room, Lena and Louie rushed to her. The woman looked exhausted, in more ways than just one. So it caused more worry to flare up inside Lena.

“So, Kara is awake and doing good for the time being.” Alex breathed while running her hands through her hair. “But she’s on some _really_ strong pain meds, you know with the alien DNA and all. Just a heads up.” Alex smiled nervously while leading Lena into the medical bay. 

Lena can't help but feel guilty as she lays her eyes on her girlfriend. Kara’s eyes are sunken in and she’s motionless, staring up at the ceiling. “Hey,” Lena whispers and is met by tired eyes and a small smile.

When the Luthor gets closer, Kara reaches her hand out for Lena, who carefully accepts it. “We ss-ssshould talk.” The blonde slurred with furrowed brows. 

“Darling, it’s okay. Just get some rest, we can talk in the morning. You’ve had a rough night.” Lena quietly replies.

“No, not just me.” Kara adds. “Both of us have.” She continues before turning on her side to face Lena.

“I’m not the one in critical condition, Kara.” Lena replies a bit too hard than she intended to.

Lena watches as Kara opens and closes her mouth before she changes the subject slightly. “Why didn't you ever tell me about your childhood?” She asked as sweetly as possible.

“I told you about my childhood.” Lena answers, trying to avoid what Kara was really asking.

“No, not about what you brought up tonight.” Kara clarified.

Lena sighed. “I didn't want any more pity.” She broke her eye contact with her girlfriend. Lena hated pity, she never liked when people felt bad for her, especially with her now in a wheelchair. It only makes her feel worse about it.

“I have never pitied you!” Kara replied, sounding offended. 

The sudden change of volume and tone made Lena flinch. Followed by an apologetic look in both of their faces. “Sorry, I-” Lena started but got cut off by Kara.

“We need to break up.” The blonde bluntly stated. 

Lena’s hand quickly pulled away from Kara’s hold. “You’re on some pretty strong drugs. Can we just talk about this in the morning?” She breathed out, trying to prevent her voice from shaking.

“No,” Kara quickly replied.

“No?”

“As long as we are together, I put you in danger. Like your mom said, all I can do is hurt you. I’m an alien, Lena. I am not your hero whether you see it that way or not. I’m an intruder. I will never belong on earth. You should just go while you have the chance.” The Kryptonian rambled, sniffling every few words.

“But you haven't hurt me, you’ve made me happier than I’ve ever been!” Lena replies with a very shaky voice. She was already heartbroken, moreso for Kara who took Lillian so close to heart. She wishes she could scream how much she loves and cares for Kara from the rooftops, just to make her understand. But it seems like no use since the damage has already been done. 

“But that still didn't stop you from doing a lot of harmful things, did it? I have only hurt you. So, please, just… go.” Kara whispered through her tears, and Lena listened.

But before she made her leave, she replied with a shaky, “I love you.” and didn't get any response except for a sniffle.

So, the Luthor left the room with Louie and tears falling down her face. Nobody dared to question her as she exited the building and got into the car waiting for her. As soon as she got settled, she blasted the song ‘Breakeven’ by The Script.

She tries to hold herself together, but as the first verse faded into the chorus, she started to choke out small sobs.

“Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven  
Even... no

 

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?”

Which she wishes right now wasn't the case, but without Kara, she probably wouldn't have survived. Kara is who she loves the most in this world, and now she’s gone, and it's all because of her mother.

Then when the second verse started, her small sobs turned to bigger ones while listening to the lyrics.

“They say bad things happen for a reason  
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding”

Right now, it feels like nothing in the world will ease her pain. It is almost like she was swallowed in a pit filled with nothing but pain and there was no way out.

“I'm falling to pieces  
(Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even)”

It wasn't even an hour after Kara broke up with her and she was already torn to shreds. It’s nothing but the depressing truth.

“I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in”

Oh and she’s praying hard. Even when she’s never believed in God, due to her scientific background, she doesn't exactly have anything to lose at this point, so it’s worth her effort.

And as the song fades with, 

“Oh it don't break even no  
Oh it don't break even no  
Oh it don't break even no”

Her sobs turn into silent pleas to get the only person who has ever really mattered to her back.

When she gets home, she doesn't go to her usual bedroom. She goes to the room where Kara used to stay that was decorated in the blonde’s exact style. It was filled with everything Kara, her scent, some of her clothes, her childhood photos, it was just laced with her. 

Lena put on some of Kara’s pajamas with the help of Louie and shimmied herself into Kara’s old bed. The only thing she knew how to do was cuddle up with one of the pillows, filled with the scent of Kara, to pretend it was the bubbly woman she used to be dating. Sleep didn't take long to come, being wrapped up in everything Kara, except for the woman herself.

After she woke up, Lena felt nothing but numbness. It took her a long hour to get out of bed and onto the couch. Even with her stomach crying out for food, she couldn't will herself to move anymore, nothing seemed to matter anymore.

But when Lena hears the door open, her hand flies to her taser. Though as soon as she sees Kara hobble through the door on crutches, her heart sinks to the bottom of her chest. 

“What the hell are you doing here, Kara?” Lena snaps, not wanting to see the woman who ripped her heart out so soon.

“What do you mean?” Kara blinked. “We are dating, so I live here, with you. Why wouldn't I be here?” She questioned, carefully.

When she was answered with nothing but silence, Kara decided to ask, “Wait, did something happen?” with full curiosity and sadness.

“Get out of my apartment.” Lena replied, her voice laced with anger and betrayal, which hasn't been heard in months. 

As soon as Kara heard Lena’s request, her eyes flashed with pain as she fumbled on her crutches to turn around and leave.

When Kara left, Lena silently sobbed to herself. The only one she had to comfort her, was Louie, who had his head resting on her lap as he let out small cries with his owner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how the story is going for you all :)
> 
> I need some prompt suggestions, so if you have any, leave them in the comments, or send me a message or ask on [Tumblr!](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)  
> I'd love to take some other things up. Just make sure you include what you want to see and if you want it to have angst or not :)


	12. We're Falling Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long delay and sloppy chapter :(   
> I have both a sinus infection and strep while being super busy on top of it so I threw this together with a horrid headache and sort of rushed it, whoops.
> 
> Thanks for all the lovely comments and feedback on the last chapter, it makes my day and helps me keep writing. If you ever have any suggestions, let me know! I'd love to see what you guys would want in this story.  
> I did a thing with the title of the story and this chapter title so notice the thought I put into it ;)
> 
> If you guys ever want sneak peeks or possibly a few quotes for a soon to be chapter, leave me an ask about it on Tumblr, I'd be happy to give you a teaser.   
> [Find my Tumblr here](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)

This whole week Lena has received countless calls and texts from Kara, all of which went unanswered. She couldn't talk to her yet, the brunette was empty, a shell of her former self that she couldn't bring to face Kara, because if she did, she would break down once more. Lena’s had enough of that to last her whole lifetime, so right now all she's going to do is avoid. That's the only action that has made her get this far in life, avoiding anything that will push her even more over the edge.

Since she had been off of her pain meds for some time now, she confided in alcohol. The numbness that she once again has been feeling is only cured when she drinks herself into sleep. But before her body gets exhausted, she cries. It’s not pretty either. Lena sobs, without taking her makeup off first, without a care in the world for who hears her. She lost the one thing in her life that made her happier than anything has ever before, shes allowed to be a wreck, damn it.

And the times that she didn't cry, she would listen to a voicemail left by Kara, because then at least she would shed a tear and feel _something_. There was one voicemail though, that always tugged her heart in a way Lena could never describe to someone. The feeling was totally new and strange to her, some people would refer the feeling to be _alien_

Lena hovered over the play button to the last voicemail that Kara left her. She hasn't called in days, so this one, Lena holds onto.

_”I Um… I get that you want space. I respect that so that's what I’ll give you I guess. I uh I just,”_

There’s a pause with a very obvious sniffle and a break of Kara’s voice. She’s clearly crying, and Lena feels like a monster at the thought of Kara being hurt over her. But Kara made her decision, so why should she be so… heartbroken? 

_I get that you wouldn't want to be with someone who has such a heavy past and life. I know you don't deserve to have that extra weight and worry in your life. So, I guess this is me saying goodbye until you decide to talk to me.”_

The voicemail ends in a choked out sob which Lena joins in at. She misses Kara more than she can fully accept and hearing the blonde think it’s Lena not wanting to care for her when she’s upset, makes Lena hurt worse. So she takes a few more shots until she passes out on the couch once more.

Like always, Lena wakes up with a massive hangover. She downs a glass of water with a couple headache pills before Louie helps her get dressed and ready for the day. And as soon as she’s ready, they leave to get to the office.

Jess greets her boss with a large cup of very caffeinated coffee, knowing that Lena would come in again needing something to help her hangover. The CEO accepts it without acknowledgement and wheels herself into her office, that already has the blinds down so she can work in peace.

Though, not much work gets done when she remembers she doesn't have meetings today. The realization lures her to the bottle of whiskey on her drink tray. Unfortunately, Lena’s impulse to drink was too strong so she caves and fetches herself the bottle, no glass, she doesn't need one if she plans on finishing the bottle before her lunch break anyway.

She downs half the bottle before someone barges through the door with Jess running behind them yelling, “I’m sorry Miss Luthor, she’s just so fast and strong!”

It was Kara, the woman in her office was Kara. The person who broke her heart, more like her soul. The blonde reporter who made her life so much better, but then turned it right back around was standing in front of her.

“I thought I made it clear that I didn't want to see you.” Lena snaps before taking another swig of her drink.

“I just, I can't-” Kara replied, her voice breaking, preventing her from finishing her sentence

\------------------------------------------------

_“Kara at some point you need to get off my couch and clean up this landfill of tissues you made.” Alex jokes, trying to get her bubbly sister back._

_“Not now, Alex.” The blonde mumbles while pulling the covers over her head. She felt broken from the sudden change in Lena. All she wanted was to be in the same room as the woman at least. Kara needed to know if she was okay. Maybe then she could move on, or at least get some sort of peace._

_By now, Maggie is sitting herself on top of Kara’s feet. “Stop being such a mopey baby and do something about it.” She adds, knowing that Kara also knows she needs to just talk to Lena in person and work it out, instead of hiding under a blanket for all of eternity._

_Reluctantly, Kara lifts her body into a sitting position, exposing her red and puffy face to her two sisters. “I can't!” She choked out. “Look at me! I’m a mess!” Kara continued, and when Alex brought her into a warm hug, the blonde let out her sobs without holding back. She needed this comfort more often, so she crumbles when she gets it._

_When the crying died down, Kara pulled back and rubbed her eyes free of tears. “Alex, why won't you tell me what I did?” She questioned sadly. Kara doesn't have any memory of what happened after she got the large dose of pain meds, and Alex told her she definitely did something bad when she was on them. But her sister never said what she did exactly._

_“I think it’s better on your part if you show up clueless, Kara. I watched the footage and it wasn't pretty for either of you. No offense but you were... cold.” Alex responds carefully, hoping that Lena might be more forgiving if Kara doesn't know what she did._

_“Is it something about her mom? Is she scared her mom will hurt me?” Kara tried, begging for at least something to go off of._

_This time, Alex stayed uncomfortably silent, giving time for Maggie to reply instead. “It was the other way around actually.” She confirmed, which got her an elbow to her side by Alex._

_“Oh my Rao, I am such an idiot! Why did you guys let me be alone with her while I was drugged up! She needed someone there for her after that and I only broke her heart! I should've been able to comfort her and support her!” The blonde rambles as she slips on her glasses and a pair of slippers before storming out of the door._

\-------------------------------------------------

“Are you drunk?” Kara asks with shock seeing a half empty bottle of whiskey on Lena’s desk, she didn't know that Lena would ever drink again, so it was a big surprise.

Lena only laughed and took another swig, “It’s better than being, um, not drunk!” the brunette replied.ut as soon as Kara swiped the bottle away from her, she didn't seem so happy.

“Can I just try to explain myself?” Kara asked and only got a huff in response.

After the reporters failed attempt at talking, she sits on the couch, pats the spot next to her and looks at Lena with pleading eyes. “Can you at least just sit here and listen for a minute, I can leave you alone after this of you really want that.” Kara sniffles, showing her soft puppy dog eyes, that barely convince Lena to join the woman on the couch.

So the CEO wheels herself over and begins to pull herself onto the couch. But when she feels Kara try to help her up, she freezes and snaps, “I don't need help!” She yells with frustration. She finally is more independent with Louie so she doesn't want to feel like she needs assistance with everything she does now.

“I um. Sorry.” Kara mutters in response and waits for Lena to get situated on the couch. “I didn't mean it Lena, I didn't even remember saying any of that to you and I assure you not once have I thought that while I was fully aware of myself.” she sighed and motioned for Lena to come closer, and when Lena refused Kara added, “Just please, it will make everything easier.” 

Lena cautiously leaned her head onto Kara’s shoulder and when she did, Kara began talking again. “Yes, I’m scared that your mom will hurt you because of me. But we are a force to be reckoned with and I never wanted to break up with you, I just wasn't right in the head when that happened. I’m sorry Lena. I hurt you when you needed comfort and you didn't deserve that.” The woman rambled on until she made her point.

The CEO was not expecting something that thought out and sincere. Her eyes teared up thinking about Kara being completely in the dark about what happened, only to come and apologize for it. Lena couldn't help but sigh before she, herself slowly started to talk. “What are you saying?” She could only manage to ask that, even though there was so much more that she wanted to say.

“I’m saying,” The blonde whispered, “It was never my intention to hurt you, and I would like to try this again, if you're okay with it.” She finished, her voice both downcast and hopeful at the same time.

The thought of getting back with Kara at the heartbroken state that Lena’s in right now made her sit up straight with rigidness. She wasn't ready just yet, it was all too much for her. Afterall, she is drunk and it's all so complicated for her brain to try to comprehend. “I’m sorry.” She lets out, her voice breaking at the end.

At that, Kara scooted to the very inside of the couch and layed down, pulling Lena down with her to comfort her. Because when Lena was hurting in anyway, the only thing Kara could do that would soothe the other woman was to lay down and cuddle her. It never failed to help.

“What are you doing?” Lena snapped, or well tried to. It sounded more like she didn't want to say it, but didn't want to seem desperate. The woman was obviously exhausted both mentally and physically.

“Rao knows neither of us have actually slept since it happened, so just for once, pretend everything is fine and just relax. You need to rest so we can work this out later.” Kara whispered while giving Lena a soft head massage. It wasn't much but it really helped calm the brunette down.

“Mmk you're comfy anyway.” Lena hummed before she started to quietly snore and drool onto Kara’s chest.

The blonde let out a soft chuckle before dozing off herself, even if this was just pretend, she still felt a bit more at peace.

Kara thought they would just be napping, but she woke up many hours later to a text from Alex.

_Alex: ‘Where are you?’ 1:27 am._  
Alex: ‘Kara? You’re never out this late.’ 1;28 am.  
Alex: ‘I’m beginning to worry.’ 1:30 am.  
Alex: ‘Hello???’ 1:35 am. 

Kara: ‘Sorry, with Lena. She had been drinking, I couldn't leave her both upset and very drunk. Talk later.’ 1:56 am.

_Alex: ‘Thank god, I was gonna send a team to find you.’ 2:00 am._

Kara: ‘glad you didnt! go to bed sis.’ 2:03 am.

_Alex: ‘Goodnight Kara.’ 2:04 am_

Kara: ‘Sweet dreams :)’ 2:04 am

Once the blonde put her phone down, she drew sloppy patterns on Lena’s arm as she waited to fall asleep again. But Lena felt it and stirred for a quick moment before she startled herself to the point of falling on the floor. 

“What the hell! Kara, why were you cuddling me on my couch!? Did we…?” She trailed off at the end of it, fearful of them getting ahead of themselves.

“No!” Kara quickly replies. “We were talking it out and you got sad so we cuddled because that always seems to comfort you, but we both ended up falling asleep. Nothing more happened.” she confirms and Lena seems visibly more relaxed.

“I um really only remember the talking.” Lena admits, trying to get herself back on the couch. “Can.. can you help me up?” She hesitantly asks, knowing she got mad at Kara earlier for trying to help her.

“Of course.” The blonde replied and swiftly lifts Lena up to place her on the couch.

One the CEO was settled again she blurted out, “We should go to couples therapy first.” 

“I agree, but I would like to at least stay in my bedroom at home. All my stuff is there.” Kara awkwardly points out.

“I guess that would only be fair. I’m sorry I didn't give you a chance to talk to me.” Lena replies genuinely. She's truthfully glad that she got to talk to Kara because maybe they can get a second chance at happiness.

“I understand, it’s okay.” Kara starts. “Therapy should help though, we were moving quite fast and I think we lost a sense of ourselves when we weren't together. We were just moving too fast.” The girls finishes explaining.

“Yeah, we have to learn how to do this without only knowing ourselves as a couple instead of both as a couple and individually.” Lena agrees wholeheartedly. “I can make an appointment for next tuesday at our lunch hour if that works?” She asked eagerly. 

Kara showed a sweet smile, “That will do, the sooner the better.” 

“The sooner the better.” Lena repeated with a nod. 

“Can we go back to bed?” The brunette asks shyly after a minute of silence. Luckily, Kara pulls her back down to cuddle. So just for that night, they put everything aside to feel safe and to be able to finally get some real sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking prompt submissions so leave them in a comment or contact me on tumblr if you would like me to write something for you!


	13. Falling together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow guys i'm so sorry for being so bad with updates lately. I went from very tiring work to going right to vacation so I've had no time to write.  
> I'm still on vacation but I will try to get some writing done for you all.  
> All of the wonderful comments being left truly make my day and help me keep writing, even after the whole SDCC disaster. So thank you all for being such beautiful people.  
> [Come talk to me on Tumblr!](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)

It was their first therapy session and Lena was overflowing with anxiety. Not many words have passed between her and Kara after the night in her office. They were both afraid of messing this up even further that they decided to keep everything in. The two didn't make the decision together, it just happened to be that way.

But in the waiting room, when Kara slowly intertwined her fingers with Lena’s as reassurance that everything would be okay, the brunette’s nerves smoothed down, just enough for her to take a deep breath and ready herself.

They sat there in silence for five more minutes before the therapist came out and called them back to her office. She looked nice, her hair was tied neatly into a bun and she had a blouse tucked into a pencil skirt. Expected, but still somewhat modest enough for Lena’s guard not to shoot back up. 

Lena takes a deep breath, _This has to work_ the thinks, desperate for her Kara back. It’s sad to say that she still feels like something is missing in her life, and she knows exactly what it is: Kara’s rambles and compliments that never fail to raise her mood. 

The therapist shakes both of their hands and introduces herself as “Dr. Walsh, but you can call me Janice.” 

“I’m Lena, Lena… Luthor, and this is--”

“Kara Danvers. Nice to meet you.” The blonde smiled wide, showing her usual self, which was a relief to Lena, seeing as it may make everything so much easier today.

“So,” Janice starts as she takes a seat across from the couple(?). “Why don't you give me a summary of what caused you to come today. Only give the details you are comfortable giving for the time being. This is a safe place and I would want it to stay that way.”

Lena took a sharp breath, “I guess I’ll start. There was an incident with my… not so good mother to say the least. Kara ended up badly injured and on some pain meds. She um broke up with me while on them, then didn't remember doing it. I was heartbroken and couldn't face her or talk to her and I feel like I ruined everything now.” 

The brunette watched as Kara’s face saddened. “Lena you did not ruin anything, okay? I understand that you were hurt. It’s really my fault for being so damn idiotic that night. I can’t believe myself, honestly.”

All Lena could do was softly smile and look down at her fidgeting hands. Whenever Kara got any sort of emotional, Lena didn't know what to do. She never learned about caring for someone, her family just wasn't about sharing their struggles with each other. So she stayed silent and so did Kara until the therapist spoke up.

“Now, I’m guessing we can all agree that both of you contributed to the issue here. That's the first step, admitting what was at fault. You’re doing great already, there’s been no yelling so that's a very big achievement. Now that you guys have said what you did, is there anything you want to say?” 

“I’m sorry” They both said simultaneously, with their eyes locked on eachother’s.

“I should’ve listened to you, let you explain everything. I was being selfish.” Lena admitted truthfully. She’s spent the week with Kara and she really wants to move past this so they can work on other parts of the relationship, like how to make all of this work. They did have some problems and Lena really wanted to talk about some of them.

“Thank you, Lena.” Kara responded, taking Lena’s hand in her own. It was a soft gesture, but it shows that the blonde is serious about all of this. “I’m sorry to, for having doubts and not being there for you. You didn't deserve that.”

The CEO’s heart swells. Kara has told her something similar before. But nobody ever tells her that she doesn't deserve foul treatment and means it, well except for Kara. That makes it all the more meaningful. 

“I understand you weren't in the right mind, pain meds tend to cloud judgment. We both didn't act well on them so I forgive you.” Lena let out, unable to maintain eye contact so she just glances down at their connected hands.

Kara’s face scrunches, “You know that does not compare Lena! You almost died! I thought I was going to lose you.” She started off mad but her voice faded to be soft and laced with sadness. 

Janice cut in here. “What happened? If you guys mind.” The woman gestured slightly at the two, hoping to get an answer.

“Kara gave me pain meds on her first day back to work because she was worried. But I was still super depressed so getting yelled at by my boss and finding out you got, um mugged? Wasn't very good for that. Anyways I wasn't thinking right and drank quite a bit and ended up in pretty bad shape.” Lena glossed over, trying not to reveal that Kara is supergirl while still keeping some sort of truth.

“Bad shape? Lena they put you in a coma!” Kara replied, frustrated. She withdrew her hand and placed it on her forehead. “After that, I thought you would be done with drinking. It really scared me seeing you drunk in your office the other day.” The blonde looked up at Lena with eyes glossed over with unshed tears. “My mind just kept flashing back to when I thought you… when I thought you had.. Had died.” She choked out, still not crying, but she was close to doing so.

Lena stayed silent. She never realized it hit KAra that hard. How could she really? Nobody has ever cared for her this much. All she could do, was pull Kara into a hug and eventually whisper, “I’m sorry, Kara.”

“I love you.” Was all Kara said in response due to her not wanting to cry. But it is true, she loves Lena, a lot, and nothing could change that.

“I love you too.” Lena softly replied with a sweet smile and let Kara calm down in her arms.

Janice just watched the two, trying to get a sense of how they worked together, she was amazed at the large amount of love shared between the two of them. It really proved how much the couple wanted to work out. It was much unlike the other couples she was used to seeing, the ones that the love had fallen away already. This, however, was so much different, they showed love in every word, every movement, every breath. It was almost refreshing seeing people being so important to each other. 

“I’d hate to interrupt this moment, but this is a good time for me to let you know a few things.” The therapist started, “It’s very obvious that you two mean a lot to each other, you guys have worked things out so well today, with little to no help and I rarely see that.” She paused for a second, recalling how well Kara and Lena were able to communicate.”Are you guys this good at talking at home?” 

The couple (?) looked at eachother with grim eyes. “No,” Lena sighed.

“We haven't really said anything to each other this past week except for ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’.” Kara added simply. That basically was it for the last few days. They would check up on each other through texts, asking when the other would be home, once or twice. But otherwise, they had avoided speaking to one another.

“Hmm, is there a reason for that?” Janice asked, trying to figure out what the couple could work on as ‘homework’.

There was a moment of silence before Lena cleared her throat to talk. “I think… I think I’m just scared to mess this up.” She let out and got a sad nod from Kara in response.

“You've probably heard this before,” Janice started, “But being scared is a good thing. It means you have something to lose. Clearly you two really care about each other so that’s understandable.” 

There was a moment of comfortable silence that lead Lena to rest her head on Kara’s shoulder and whisper. “You’re right. She’s my everything.” 

All Kara did was place a kiss to the top of Lena’s head and then cuddle up closer to her. It was a simple gesture, but meaningful to the both of them. 

Janice let them have another moment of silence, not really knowing how to ask her new question from the scene that developed in front of her. “Um, so do you guys have a different support system at home since you haven't been speaking?”

The two woman sat up straight and Lena mentioned, “Louie.” 

Kara looked at her and added, “Yeah, why didn't you bring him today? He's supposed to come with you wherever you go.”

“Sorry to interrupt, but who is Louie?” The therapist asked, confused by the situation.

“My service dog. He’s wonderful and as much as I wanted to bring him, I wanted this day to be about Kara and me. He has been my rock through this all, I’ve just been so reliant on him lately. I guess I just wanted to know if you’ve,” She takes hold of Kara’s hand and looks at her with soft eyes, “still got me.” 

If Lena was able to talk about it more, she would tell Kara about how she longs to be held and comforted by her again. How she just wants everything to go back to normal so she wasn’t this fragile, drunk, work obsessed woman anymore. Lena is stronger, and more human when she’s with Kara. She will never take that for granted again.

With a gentle squeeze of her hand, Kara whispers in response, “I’ve always got you.” 

“What a great way to end this session. I do have some homework for you guys to do for the time being though.” Janice says, noticing the hour is up.

“Absolutely.” Lena responds, eager to try to get her and Kara back to their regular relationship.

“First you guys need to start openly communicating again. It’s clear you both love each other and want this to work and the best way to do that is by talking. Both of you also have to plan a date to take the other on, have some fun. Is that easy enough?” Janice explained.

Lena nods as Kara replies, “Yes, thank you.” 

They say their goodbyes and schedule another appointment, almost two weeks away due to Lena’s busy schedule. But, that will give them some time to try to learn each other again. Hopefully they can do this. 

\-----------------------

Lena has realized that Kara has had some rough days as supergirl this past week, so her date night was simply a night in. It was time for them to put on onesies and curl up on the couch together to watch movies. It’s one of Kara’s favorite things and she could surely use it. 

The brunette was going to make a few packages of ramen for dinner, knowing Kara loves it. But the problem is, she never has had to cook for herself, being rich and all. But when the reporter opened the door with a sigh as she dropped her belongings on the ground, Lena could tell her girlfriend was starving.

“Kara, I’m making you ramen, though it's been in the pot for awhile and doesn't seem to be ready.” She explained awkwardly, hoping the thought counts.

The blonde drags her feet over to the stove to look at the noodles progress, then shot Lena a death stare. She was hungry and this was not the best time for Lena to decide she wants to know how to cook.

“Wait, why do I get the sense that I’m in trouble?” Lena asked, scared she did something wrong.

Kara sighed and lightened her look. “You’re not in trouble, you’re my girlfriend. But you didn't cook the noodles. You can’t just put it in water and serve it.” 

“I don't know how ramen works! I’ve never exactly cooked.” Lena laughed, embarrassed that she couldn't do a simple task.

An exhausted laugh leaves Kara’s lips. “Come here you dork!” 

Lena goes closer and drags Kara onto her lap with a giggle. They connect foreheads and the brunette whispers, “I’ve missed this.”

And when Kara connected her lips with Lena’s for the first time in weeks, Lena froze. She didn't get enough time to register what what happening until the blonde pulled away. “Was that… not okay?” Kara asked with worry written on her face.

There were no words leaving Lena. It was only silence. But the brunette slowly moved her hands up to softly cup Kara’s cheeks and pull her into another kiss. It was slow, sweet and gentle, the way their kisses had been before all of the drama. It was like everything was okay again for the time being.

“No, it was perfect. This is perfect. You’re perfect.” Lena let out in a breath, absolutely in love with the woman on her lap.

“I love you, Lena Luthor” Kara starts as she leans in for another kiss, but right before Lena connects them to hers, Kara stands up and finishes with, “But we need to order some food. We can't have a cranky kryptonian on our date now, can we?”

Lena let out a small whimper at the tease. She stuck out her lip, which Kara leaned into and kissed the pout away. That’s all Lena wanted, and still wants to do, kiss Kara because, god it’s been so long since their last kiss. She would never take those sweet kisses for granted again.

“Okay, I’m, buying.” Lena let out with a dopey grin as she pulled out her phone. “Where are we getting food from?”

The blonde looks at her girlfriend with hope. “Could we maybe get chinese again?” She asks sweetly.

“Of course.” Lena laughs. “You’re going to rob me with all this food you keep making me order for you.” and with that, she wheels away to call for a delivery order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all like this story so far.  
> Let me know what you think :)


	14. It Almost Feels Like Nothing Changed at All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little chapter to introduce what's going to happen next.  
> Thank you all for the lovely comments on the last chapter, they mean a lot to me.  
> Though, the response I'm getting isn't what I want to see so I may be speeding up the timeline after next chapter to wrap it up sooner.  
> If you want more, Leave me some feedback. I need to stay motivated in order to write. Also, ideas for future chapters are crucial and I will do my best on making it happen.  
> I really want to make this as long as possible, I love how this is going, I just am running low on motivation and ideas.
> 
> If you guys want to see one shot continuations of any of my fics, or want me to do SuperCorp prompts, come find me on Tumblr [@ugliersteak](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)

A knock at the door was not what Lena was expecting after she came home early from work. She took a few hours off to be at the apartment for Kara when she got home from work. Lena wanted to spend more time with her girlfriend, to fully get back into their normal routine.

The brunette wheeled over to the door and hesitantly opened it, surprised to see Alex on the other side. “I um. I would assume you are here to see Kara. She won't be home for another hour or so.” Lena explained as she moved aside to let the older Danvers in.

“Oh, I’m here to talk to you actually.” Alex stated as she made her way to the couch. “I know you’ve been through alot and since you mean a lot to my sister, I wanted to make an effort to check in on you and get to know you a little better.” She finished as she sprawled out on the sofa.

Lena followed the woman to the living room, feeling somewhat happy that she might be able to start a friendship with Alex. “Well thank you for coming by. Would you like something to drink?” She asked awkwardly, not completely sure how to interact. She may be good at talking to business partners, but her girlfriends sister is another story.

“No, thank you.” Alex responded before looking around the place. “Say, where's that dog of yours?” She asked with a smile spread across her face.

“He's in the kitchen begging for cucumbers.” Lena replied with a slight giggle before calling Louie over. 

“Cucumbers?” Alex laughed.

“Yeah, he loves them. Don't you buddy?” Lena said as Louie ran up to her, wagging his whole body. 

It was nice to finally talk to Alex on terms other than being a Luthor. Lena could already see why her and Kara got along so well. The older Danvers may not be as sunny and bright, but she was still super caring and interested in what Kara put effort in. It was endearing to Lena to see this. It reminded her of the bond she had with Lex.

“Now I can see why Kara blows up my phone with pictures of him.” Alex smiles, seeming a lot more relaxed than when Lena has seen her before. 

“He’s certainly a charmer.” Lena chuckles, watching Louie crawl on top of Alex on the couch. “Um, sorry about…” The CEO motions to her dog, “that”

Alex patted Louie with a small smile forming on her face. “It’s alright. I always love getting my puppy fix in. Especially since Maggie wants to wait a little longer before we get our own.” The woman adds before giving Louie a kiss at the top of his head.

“I actually didn't think you would be home. I guess I got lucky.” Alex said, when a comfortable silence grew long. She knows Lena has a habit of working late, so coming here was a long shot.

Lena nodded. “Yeah, I am trying to make an effort to be home more, I wanted Kara and I to do something tonight. Knowing her she’d want to watch movies and eat all night long.” While she was finishing talking, a soft blush and a smile to accompany it formed across her elegant features. 

“Oh my god Lena Luthor is swooned by my alien sister!” Alex laughed openly, still baffled how her sister managed to get this woman wrapped around her finger.

All Lena could do was duck her head and blush harder. “I know. I’m convinced she cast a love spell on me.” She responded with an embarrassed laugh. “I never thought I’d fall in love” She then said sadly. Man, she did not mean to make this depressing.

“Only Kara can swoon the snobby CEOs.” Alex snorted, remembering the days Kara wouldn't shut up about Cat. She’s much happier that her sister found Lena. They seem to be perfect for eachother. They act as if their worlds revolve around each other.

“It must be a new power.” Lena points out like a conspiracy theorist. 

“Yeah, maybe.” The other woman agreed. Then with a long draw of her breath, she stated, “I didn't come here just for laughs though.”

 _Oh boy, here it comes_ Lena thought before she could speak. “What's on your mind?” Was all she could get out, anxiously hoping this isn't anything hostile.

“I came here to check up on you. Kara of course has me in the loop and she seems to think you’ve been a bit down lately. She just doesn't know how to bring it up and she's worried about you.” Alex explains, hoping this isn't crossing a line so she could help her sister out a bit. Kara has always been so hyper empathetic but never knew how to express her empathy so she tends to just leave it alone. All Alex wants to do is help her sister become less stressed about it.

“I’m just missing my old life is all. Sometimes when I wake up I forget that I’m paralyzed and Kara has to catch me before I end up face down on the floor. Hell, Sometimes I forget in the middle of the day and fall out of my chair. Not to mention I now have the joy that is chronic pain.” Lena rambles on, finally letting some of her troubles out.

“I dont know what to say, I’m so sorry.” Alex responded before Lena started talking again.

“I can’t exactly talk about it with Kara either because of how stubborn she can be about me going to the doctor. I have an appointment in a few weeks and I’d like to keep it at only the one. It’s already nerve wracking as it is alone.” She sighs, not knowing how she was able to admit all of that, yet she still wants to talk. “My doctor thinks more surgery could help, that's why I’m going.” She admitted before going silent.

Alex was quiet for a moment as well. She didn't even know how to respond. “If you ever need anything, anything at all, Lena, let me know. From today on, I will be here for you always.” That’s the best thing she could think of. But from the looks of it, she said the right thing because Lena was showing her a soft smile.

“Thank you, Alex. It means more than you know.” She responded the only way she knew how, honestly.

They talked to each other for a few more minutes until Lena’s phone vibrated letting her know she had a text.

_Be home in twenty. Love you <3 -K _

_I love you too, Darling. Be safe. -L_

Lena smiled, already excited to see the person she loves most in this world. “Kara will be home soon. Would you like to stay for dinner?” The Luthor asked without a second thought.

“Oh I wouldn't want to intrude on your guy’s night.” Alex replied almost instantly. 

“Please, I insist. You’re looking out for me, so the least I could do is feed you some pizza.” Lena pointed out.

“Alright,” Alex laughed softly, “If you insist.”

\----------------------------------------------

_Meanwhile at CatCo_

It was about the time that both Kara and James normally head out of work together. But after fifteen minutes of waiting, James decided to go check in on his friend. She’s never more than a few minutes behind, so he wants to make sure she’s okay.

But when he opens the door to Kara’s office, panic runs through his veins. He’s greeted by a sight that's frighteningly similar. A creature is latched onto Kara’s torso, sucking the life out of her. It’s a creature referred to as _the black mercy_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need some ideas for this fic and new ones so please please please leave some here or on tumblr! I love to write supercorp and would like to try out some people's own ideas.


	15. Reality Will Break Your Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had plans to make this chapter longer but I ended up wanting to move those ideas to next chapter so I could put an update out for everyone.
> 
> Thank you all for commenting and giving me ideas! They will greatly help for continuing the story!  
> Two of the ideas will be in the next few chapters so look out for them if you gave me suggestions.  
> If any of you have ideas for what you would like to see in this story, please, let me know! I'd love to put some more effort into this.  
> As always, let me know what you think of the story! Comments always encourage me to get writing done :)
> 
> [Come talk to me on Tumblr!](https://ugliersteak.tumblr.com)

The sun was just beginning to rise when Kara woke up from her slumber. She took a deep breath, noticing the smell of the person she loves most in the world, Lena. It was always habit for Lena to be the first one up, but Kara decided she would let her beauty sleep in a bit longer.

Outside the huge window in their room, a city began to sparkle with rays of red. The glass and metal of the buildings glistened in the newly, light filled world. Pods started to rush by as time passed, showing a city bursting with life.

Eventually, Kara’s focus shifted to the little feet padding around the house. She wanted to keep soaking in the gorgeous view of her planet but little giggles helped the blonde put one foot in front of the other to go see what the commotion was about. 

When Kara exited her room, she couldn't find the little mischief in the hall. So she followed the giggling into the newest made bedroom. Quietly, she stood in the doorway observing the scene unfolding in front of her.

A little girl, was whispering to an even smaller child in a crib. The tinier of the two was whimpering and visibly upset. Though, the older child was trying her hardest to use her stuffies to cheer up the little one. 

The first child, named Cassidy is two years of age and a completely visible representation of her mom's. She had the dark brown hair of Lena with the loose curls Kara had. Her eyes were a bright shade of green that stood out for miles. Someone may describe them as jaw dropping. Her nose was almost exact to Lena’s while she carried Kara’s bright smile. 

The younger girl, seeming just a few months old, has the name Quinn. She had gorgeously colored skin, many shades darker than the rest of the family, tightly curled black hair, and big brown eyes that glistened in the sunlight. She, like her sister, is an absolutly beautiful child. 

“Cassidy,” Kara whispered, watching the older child turn around with a guilty look smeared across her face. “I know you’re excited to have a sister, but Quinn needs some rest, she’s new here.” 

The blonde loved to see how Cassidy already wanted to form a bond with her new sister. Quinn had only been with them for a few days and Cass already picked up on the sister role. It made her heart swell to realize how sweet her child is. It must be all from Lena. After all, she is the nicest person someone can meet.

“I know mama, I sowwy.” Cassidy sweetly replied, hoping not to get in trouble.

“That’s alright sweetheart. Would you like to help me feed her?” Kara asked with a grin, knowing her two year old daughter would be overjoyed to. 

“Yay yay!” Cassidy yelled in response and bouncing with excitement.

“Shhh,” Kara sounded with a chuckle. “Mommy is sleeping.” she finished before picking up a fussy Quinn.

All three of them headed to the kitchen to get a bottle prepared. Cassidy helped hold things for her mom while she mixed the formula into some crystal clear water. _only the best for my children_ Kara thought as she finished her task.

Just as Kara had settled on the couch with Quinn in her arms and Cassidy snuggled up next to them, Lena walked out into the living room with a yawn. “Good morning gorgeous.” She winked at Kara before connecting their lips in a kiss.

“Good morning babies.” Lena whispered, kissing Cassidy on the cheek and giving Quinn a quick tummy tickle.

Kara smiled watching her sleepy wife interact with all of them. Even in Lena’s sleep stricken state, she was absolutely stunning. The blonde could never get tired of seeing Lena in the mornings.

“How’d you sleep?” Kara asked as Lena sat down and curled into her side.

“So good. I don't think I’ve slept that well in years.” She mumbled, already falling back asleep on Kara’s side. “Mmm don't move.” She mumbled once again when Kara’s arm lifted.

The blonded laughed, “I need to feed the baby, honey.” Which earned her a pouty whine from her wife. 

Her life was better than she could ever dream of. She had a wife, two beautiful and healthy children, and a job in the science guild. It was like her life was destine to be amazing, this is what Rao intended for her from the beginning. Kara was sure of that.

A knock came from the door before Kal-el came in. “You have a visitor, Kara.” He announced before letting in a short haired brunette.

“Who are you?” Kara asked, surprised to have never seen this woman in her life.

“Kara, it’s me, Alex, your sister.” The woman tried at the idea.

\----------------------------------

The two women rushed into the med bay as soon as they arrived to the DEO. The only thought on their minds was Kara. She needs to be okay. Neither of them could live without her.

“Alex, do you know how to help her?” Lena asked with horror once she spotted Kara. Pain struck through her chest seeing her girlfriend with that… monster on her abdomen.

The older Danvers sighed. “I do. It involves someone stitching into her brain and trying to convince her to choose us, her life here.” 

“Okay then let me go in. I’ll do it.” Lena replied without second thought. She would not let Kara die. Kara can't die, she's her world. Lena would not be able to go on without the sunny person in her life.

Alex bent down and took Lena’s hand. “I can't let you do that. There’s a chance you, a different version of you is in there.” 

“Wouldn't it just make her realize I'm the real Lena though?” Lena asked, trying to figure out how this all works.

“I’m not sure. But I’ve done this before so I can try it again.” Alex tried to reassure Lena. It was difficult the first time, but Kara is strong, Alex has hope she can save her again.

Lena nodded with worry written into her face. All she could say was, “Please bring her back. I can’t lose you both.” in a whisper.

“The thing about us Davers girls is that we are stubborn. There’s no way I’ll let her chose her made up reality.” Alex replied before going to the next exam table to get ready.

\----------------------------------

Panic struck through Kara. So she turned to Lena and whispered to her to take the kids to their bedroom. “You are mistaken, I don't have a sister.” She replied honestly.

“You have a beautiful family.” Alex admitted. She had never known that Kara wanted kids with Lena.

“You don't get to say that.” Kara replied angrily.

Alex looked hurt, or maybe weak. It was hard to tell from the distance they had separating them. “Lena can walk?” Is all she responded though. She sounded shocked.

“Lena has always been able to walk.” 

By now, Kara was far too confused to fully follow what was going on. This stranger, whoever she is seems to be giving out false information. Maybe something is wrong, this person might need help in Kara’s mind. That's the only reason why she’s staying to hear this through.

“No, Kara she's paralyzed, from the waist down, remember?” The woman replied, hoping there's some way of convincing the blonde.

“Paralyzed? You’re delusional. No please get out of my home before I call the guards.” Kara scoffs, thinking this stranger is insane.

That's when Alex moves closer to her sister. “The car crash, remember? You moved in after that to help her adapt to being in a wheelchair and fell in love with her on the way. Kara, Lena is back home, sobbing and praying for you to wake up. She needs you.” 

For a second, something flashes through Kara’s eyes and the world slightly rumbles.

“See, remember it all. Kara, I need you, Lena needs you, your friends Winn and James need you. Please, come back.” 

The shaking returns, a bit heavier this time, Alex is making progress. All she can do now is keep trying to convince her sister. But by the looks on Kara’s face, she’s bringing the blonde back home.

It took a moment longer before that familiarizing look reappeared on Kara’s face. “Oh my Rao, Lena” She gasped as her memories started to flood back to her. “This Lena is not my Lena.” She finished, looking up at her sister with tear filled eyes.

“Kara we need to get you out of here. Everyone wants you to come home.” Alex responded as she held a hand out for Kara.

The blonde connects her hand with Alex’s and the world rapidly starts to shake. Alex did it, She’s bringing Kara back to everyone that matters to them.

\-----------------------------------

Alex was the first to wake up from the dream world. Almost immediately she's greeted by sobbing Lena at the sight of Kara not awake. The older Danvers moves to go comfort Lena with a simple hold of the womans hand, but Lena does not accept it.

The CEO is shoving Alex away from her. “How could you? You promised me you would bring her back!” She choked through her worsening sobs. At this moment, Lena feels her world crumbling around her. She believes Kara is gone, that she doesn't have the person who gives her a reason to smile on the worst of days. Her life feels, gone.

“Lena-” Alex gets cut off as the black mercy starts to crawl off of Kara. “Lena look!” She yells after the creature shrivels up next to the blonde. She did it. Alex saved her sister again. 

Kara then groans and reaches out to her side where her favorite heart beat, Lena’s heart beat, is heard. Of course, her girlfriend gently takes her hand and follows by placing kisses all over Kara’s cheek. 

The blonde smiles, “Miss me much?” To which she gets a soft smack to the cheek. “Ow!”

“Don't ever scare me like that again!” Lena half yelled, trying to not let the whole DEO that she's not composed.

“Now you know how I feel!” Kara let out a soft laugh, ending with a cough. Her throat was dry and raspy, obviously from being out for quite a bit of time.

Alex walked over and helped her sister sit up so she could drink some water. “Take little sips okay? I don't want you to overwhelm your body right now.” She explained as she ran her fingers through Kara’s hair.

Everything seemed alright in the room now, all because Kara is strong enough to keep coming back to fight her battles. But there was one thing, gnawing at Kara’s mind, that she can’t put aside.

Silent tears escaped her eyes as everyone else seems to be celebrating. Kara feels like a terrible person. She got a glimpse of what her perfect life would be, and ‘perfect’ in her subconscious did not accept Lena how she was. It’s not fair, not fair for them both. Kara has been one of Lena’s biggest supporters and fans, helping her learn and adapt. She thought she had accepted it, she even had known so. She loves Lena for who she is. So why on earth would her subconscious want Lena to be able bodied? It surely made no sense, so she would work on it. The next step would be to tell Lena. That alone was heartbreaking enough as it is. Kara knows how hard Lena works, still to this day, just to accept herself. The blonde cant even stand herself for what she pictured in the black mercy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me some suggestions and feedback. It will help me so much with writing new chapters!
> 
> If anyone wants prompts or one shots done, My ask box on tumblr is always open for those :)


	16. You're Perfect to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how long this took me to get a chance to write, I'm also really sorry for how short this is. I've just had no motivation to get this done with having a lot of school work to do, and on top of that having little to no feedback kinda just makes me have no reason to write this.
> 
> I'm going to try to have this finished within the next month and then start posting a fic I have in the works right now (hint its a supercorp baby fic)

The next day, Kara was sent home by Alex to just rest. The older Danvers had told her that she would contact Kara’s work to get her off for medical leave for the time being. Kara was relieved to go home. All she wants to do is talk to Lena, she feels horrible for what she imagined and she needs to work on it. Yes, she’s terrified to tell Lena, she's terrified of hurting her girlfriend. But it’s something she needs to do to be able to have a healthy relationship, she needs to be honest.

As soon as they get home, Kara changes out of the DEO medical clothes and into some soft pyjamas and joins Lena out in the livingroom. 

“Hey, can we sit and talk. I need to tell you what I imagined.” she said, walking over to the couch.

“Yeah. Um I get it if I wasn't there. Alex told me what you saw the first time.” Lena replied, wheeling over to her girlfriend and lifting herself onto the couch.

Kara gave her a nervous look. “No, you were there, Cassidy and Quinn were there too.” She let out, seeming low, which confused Lena slightly.

“Isn't that a good thing?” The brunette asked, not knowing what else to say. Lena connected her hands with Kara’s, waiting for a response.

“It would be,” Kara started and looked down to the floor. “But I imagined you as able bodied.” The blonde seemed so deeply ashamed and guilty. Lena could tell she was beating herself up about it.

But even though Lena could sense all that guilt, she still took her hands back. She was mad, maybe more disappointed than mad, she thought Kara was okay with her, with the new her. Lena had no idea that Kara still had the same thoughts she, herself did. “Kara I-” She said, looking up with depression in her eyes. 

“I know.” Kara started, “I’m a terrible person, you're perfect how you are and I know that! I don't know why my subconscious did that!” She let out a sob at that, feeling like this was it, that Lena wouldn't want to date her anymore.

“Kara, look at me.” The brunette sniffled and reclaimed her girlfriends hands. “It wasn't your fault I know. Thank you for telling me. Now we can work on fully accepting this together.” Lena was definitely taking this all better than Kara had expected. “But I think you know why.” She finished as she looked down at her hands.

“You know I wouldn't love you anymore than I do now, right?” Kara said, tears in her eyes, feeling so disappointed in herself.

A sigh left Lena. “I know, I just think your brain wants to experience things people in a normal relationship do.” She let out, reclaiming her hands to shift them on her lap. Lena knows they have been missing certain aspects of a relationship, and some of them Kara has never done, she feels bad for that. But in the end she can't help it. “You should be able to experience all of those things, Kara. If you feel like I’m holding you back, I understand.”

“No no no no, Lena that's the thing. You don't hold me back. You motivate me to be better and to do better. You show me what it feels like to be loved and important, you help me realize the joys of the little things in life. Lena, you are doing the exact opposite of holding me back.” Kara rambled at her girlfriend, wanting to make sure that Lena knew how much better her life was with the brunette in it. 

Lena let out a deep breath and pushed herself onto the couch, letting her body lay against Kara’s. “I’m glad you didn't keep this from me. Maybe we can start doing things together to help us accept this together.” The brunette replied. She couldn't be mad at Kara in all fairness. The woman was being so honest and sweet that the anger wasn't there. Yes, she was a bit disappointed, but she doesn't love Kara nonetheless.

Kara hummed in response. Their conversation came to a good ending point at that moment so they enjoyed a comfortable silence, cuddled in each others warmth for some time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I'm trying but i promise to try to get you guys a nice ending


	17. Will be deleted

Let me know if you guys want more to this story, and leave me some suggestions for what you’d like to see :)


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